Digital Detox

Well, well, well...look who decided to return?

Why the hiatus this time? Well, its simple. I decided to live. Not live and share...just LIVE!
Actually go out there in the big wide world and just embrace all the surprises it chucked my way. And I have to say, its been AWESOME! Not all good, but awesome all the same.
You see, I had an epiphany, and it hurt like hell! Not only did I lose everything I loved all at the same time (I'm talking EVERYTHING here people), but I lost myself in the process. I was tired of churning out mantras I had lost all belief in, and it took a life concussion for me to gain perspective.

(Pictures below from top left: Watching Beyonce at V festival; At the 'Big IF' event in Hyde Park; watching Justin Timberlake & JayZ at Wireless Festival;  Present at Baroness Hale's swearing in as deputy President of the Supreme Court; Bouquet as Maid of Honour at my sister's wedding; Audience at taping of 'The Chase'; delivering a speech in Barclays Capital; Watching the basketball Paralympics game; The Supreme Court empty; at a fellow blogger's flat-warming; Audience at ITV Studios; Attended (and won further 2 shows) iTunes Festival; Audience at BBC Studios for taping of 'Live at the Electric'; attended book launch for 'Happily Ever After')

So I went on a digital detox; not a fast per-se, but a basic withdrawal from the online world. I quit tweeting irrelevant nonsense. I stopped pictorially detailing my world and its ins & outs so much on instagram. I withdrew from cyberstalking celebs and people alike on blogs and other social media platforms. I didn't go cold-turkey by choice, but more by force [of circumstances]. It was in that time that I began to notice the things around me more than the things e-side my phone/kindle/laptop. I began to attend invigorating events, meet influential people and do interesting things. I reconnected with lost loves and old friends, as well as rekindling former passions and acquiring new talents. The rock-bottom I'd hit & subsequent digital detox forced propelled me out of my comfort zone and challenged all I knew about life. I'm excited to come back with a renewed zeal and write rawer than ever. You ready?

Onyxsta says...BLEURGH!! When life challenges you to confront your current ethos, the challenge faced requires a fresh perspective perhaps gained from a digital detox. Xisses

Au revoir GFC...Hola Bloglovin'

This is just a quickie post on the last day of the month that splits the year to inform you guys of some groundbreaking news. GFC is no more!! From next month, all my 450+ followers will be extinct so its CRITICAL that you take the time to follow BLEURGH on Bloglovin' PLEASE!
I don't want to miss out on all my lovely messages and the wise words you guys share with me after each post or via email.
So PLEASE click on to BLOGLOVIN and subscribe to BLEURGH and if you want to be proactive and import all the other blogs you're following, then click HERE, click on 'Google Reader' and then 'Import from Google Reader', and finally grant authentication. Voila!

Onyxsta says...BLEURGH!! In the words of Usher Raymond, 'come follow me'. Xisses

Don't Call it a Comeback

Starting a 'Back to School' series, by popular demand.  This week, I read a tweet that enraged me to the core, and I went on to scribe my thoughts. I found that my words spoke volumes to those going through that stage in their lives. As I too will be joining the flock this September, returning to an educational institute to further my career prospects, I thought it best to deal with these issues bit-by-bit. The first port of call in this series is dealing with bad baggage from the previous term/year, and how to improve, this academic year.

 Shirt : H&M | Trousers : ZARA | Sandals : ZARA

Results Day & the Summer
So you've received your results & you're not too pleased with whats staring back at you on paper. Fair enough. My advice is to give yourself time to wallow in self-pity. Trying to speed up the process by going straight into work-mode is futile. The work produced in the time will be of low quality, and you will lose the will to carry on. Whether its a day, or days...take a time-out. Cry if you need to. After a few days off, snap back to reality. THIS IS KEY! The moment of realisation when those low grades sink in, is when you need to pick up a pen and paper and start drafting an action plan.

 Studs : Matalan | Necklace : TK Maxx | Watch : Guess | Rings : DP/H&M

Action Plan
I grew up under a roof that placed great importance on academic achievements. My father drummed in the need for a SWOT analysis after every academic term.
Strength
Weakness
Opportunity
Threat

Its important to acknowledge where you went wrong. Yes, we live in a society thats infatuated with a blame culture. When something goes wrong, someone can always be held accountable. However, upon receipt of results, you need to denounce membership of that culture and accept that you had a part to play in your feeling of disappointment. When you can reach that stage of acceptance, is the moment you can openly acknowledge your faults and weaknesses. 

My SWOT Analysis
At the end of 2nd year, I accepted that my STRENGTH was retaining a lot of information in a short space of time. This system of studying may have worked for SATs, GCSEs and ALevels, but was proving difficult in University. I recognised that was WEAKNESS was the application of that knowledge. I am a procrastinator-by-nature, and would always revise last-minute. That didn't give me enough time to understand and apply my knowledge in-time to translate it to wisdom on paper. This meant that I was always scraping the bottom of the barrel. I never failed/ had retakes, as I understood the work, but I did not apply it to the question/ support it with external sources. Acknowledging your weakness does not always mean changing your system. I was realistic enough to know that I could not sacrifice my social life (THREAT) through the year to study continuously. Instead, I still left my revision until last minute, but I incorporated study-groups and peer-grading (OPPORTUNITY) into my revision system.

Onyxsta says...BLEURGH!! Carry out a SWOT Analysis, and prepare for low grades to go amiss. Xisses

Disclaimer: This advice is generic. Feel free to contact me & ask for more help/advice at nkeks@hotmail.com.

Eco Green Lifestyle

Hi Y'all! Its been a minute ey? Well, its kinda cos I haven't been feeling very inspired of late. I found that, on reading my old posts, I was coming off as a bitter black woman. I'm not the most positive person, but neither do I sit on a pedestal pin-picking at the flaws of every moving thing on this earth. Its tiring.

 Blazer : Thrifted (Wales) | Waterfall Tanktop : Blue Inc | Trousers : Thrifted (Croydon)

When people decide to 'go green', they usually cut out the 'bad' from their lives. In the conventional sense, it involves recycling, using eco-friendly lightbulbs, boiling less water or wasting less, etc. I thought the best way to turn my negative outlook on life, was to adopt this lifestyle in regards to my professional and social life. This involves, waking up with a smile on my face, praying and reading the bible more, making an effort to keep in contact with good friends more often, listen to good music, etc.

 Necklace : Dorothy Perkins | Bracelet : Costume Jewellery from a Summer Church Fayre

Wedges Primark | Turban : BIY Tutorial using scarf from Bloomsbury

I'm all for re-evaluation of life, and all that jazz, but I don't think 'going green' should be such a drastic move that you feel yourself back-pedalling at the soonest convenience. It is SO easy to fall when you set the bar so high, but this eco-friendly lifestyle I'm adopting isn't a whole new thing, but a modification of the improvements I set out to change from the start of the New Year. After being called out once or twice for seeming so bitter of late, I had to take this step. We live in a 'blame culture' where its easy to pass on the blame for a bad friendship to the other party, or to displace your bad mood on your shitty boss who's grinding you to a pulp, working you to the bone. However, I think its how YOU choose to handle it thats far more telling of your character, than the circumstances life seems to throw at you.

I had my first ever appraisal at work this week, and it was a great indicator of how my 'green' modifications had panned out. I'm an employee that absorbs ideas for improvements, and takes advice quite well. I believe in the power of constructive criticism, and even when the former part of that phrase is lacking and I find myself in the lion's den over an error on a client's file, I maintain an air of calm and control and diplomatically solve the issue the best way I can. In the workplace, there is no real room for a tantrum, as Kelly Cutrone's infamous book so bluntly puts it, "If you have to cry, go outside". So also are friendships not the place to harbour bad blood and bear grudges, thats what enemies are for. Friendships are a home away from home. Someone/ people we go to find solace, partners we count on to bear/share our brudens, without judgment. 'Eco Green Lifestyle' is a life where friends are recycled and made to feel loved as you find the time to put in the right objects of affection into that relationship box. Work is a platform for professional development and gaining insight, and with that outlook, you will be accorded more responsibility and given more opportunities to learn more about your role.

Onyxsta says...BLEURGH!! Go green to live a life on a high that can't be replicated by juicing down a coffee bean. Xisses

Ghost of Boyfriend Past

I loved (and still do) English Literature at school, but one lesson I always zoned out of was the analysis of Charles Dickens' A Christmas Carol. All that springs to mind is 'ghost of christmas past' (not sure if thats accurate, but feel free to correct me below), and thats exactly the experience I wanted to share with you.

 Shirt : Internacionale | Skirt : Primark 

Now I've reached a turning point in my dating life, which I think is a touch too personal to share on here, but just know there's a crossroads that I'm intending on crossing soon (God willing). Anywho....here I was, on the last day of the 1st 1/3 of 2012, walking idly home, and who else did I bump into but my ex driving by! My tweethearts can bear witness to the near heartattack I had on sight of my scrub-ex ("sitting on the passenger's side, of his best friend's ride trying to holla at me" LOL). What stunned me, however, was the fact that seeing him equated to me making a full-circle. Earlier this year, I'd bumped into all my other exes (some I'd steered away from interaction with), from the most recent to that fateful final day in April.

 Bag : ZARA | Boots : Dorothy Perkins

I'm a firm believer in signs, and seeing all of them catapulted me to a seat on reality's throne. I cannot envision myself in the same relationships I was in all those years ago, and it was stunning to see how far I'd come in contrast to them. Not to belittle their own struggles, but I feel as though I am in a totally different place/ level to them now, all I can see ahead is higher ground. Humans are prone to looking back regretfully, idealising the past. Those blasts from the past jerked me to focus on my present and aspire for a better future.

I'm a manic list-drafter. As you know, I'm fond of drafting charts and drawing mind-maps, and after crossing the 1st 1/3 of the 2012 hurdle, and encountering the final ex, I turned to my leather planner and began scribing. What has been accomplished thus far? What is left to overcome? How can I go about this? Revisiting your New Years' Resolutions, are you still sticking to any of them? Or did you abandon them all on the 2nd of January and blame the fickleness of capitalism on your personal downfall from accomplishing your goals? I for one, fall into the latter category, and could sit here and blame procrastination or whatnot, but instead I'm choosing to pick myself up and try again. I've got to keep believing and striving for better, in order to become the woman I want to be. On retrospect, I can see that my past experiences aren't something to be ashamed of, or regretful over, however I'm thankful for them, as a result of which I have grown into who I am today.

Onyxsta says...BLEURGH!! If ever you get a visit from a ghost of boyfriend past, steer clear of succumbing to the spell on you they once cast. Xisses

10 Things You Don't Know About Me

I was tagged by the lovely Andree Marie, a while back, to share 10 Things you guys don't know about me. So I itched my scalp (like the dude in Chainsaw Massacre) and came up with an entertaining list. Also wanted to add some visual aids of fun times that won't end up on a post, so might as well bong them all in here. ENJOY!

1)      I'm a film, music & book fanatic...more obsessed with words than much else. With music, I pay more attention to the lyrics than the melody. Annotate quotes and try to understand the underlying themes, rather than absorb the trivial activities occuring in a play/book. Watch out for buzzwords and legendary quotes, rather than getting carried away with the fickle hoo-ha in TV Shows & movies. I live by moving words & one day, want to compile a book of my favourite, life-changing quotes.

2)      I was born in Nigeria & lived there for 9 years, before moving to the UK with my entire family. Thus making me a 1^st generation migrant, otherwise known to some as a freshie...but shhhh! LOL

3)      I go by the alias of  'Onyxsta' or 'Onyx' on social networking sites and the blog world as I'm trying to carve out a reputable legal career for myself and don't want to merge my creative side, with my professional side.

4)      My five favourite drinks in the WORLD are Diet Coca-Cola with Lime, Strawberry Lemonade, Rubicon Passion Fruit, Fizzy Vimto and Supermalt. I live and die by these.

5)      I'm double-jointed in my fingers, but also SUPER clumsy. Those on my High School's yearbook committee will know how I begged & pleaded with the editor of the 'Most Likely to...' page NOT to include any clumsy references. I've sprained my ankle a million + 1 times, so much so, that I have a recovery-kit with balms and bandages ready-to-go at home for when the need arises.

6)      I'm a fat-kid at heart, and conceal my insatiable appetite before the likes of those judgmental size 0's by calling myself a 'foodie' instead. Although, I'm like Homer from the Simpsons and can tell you what unique ingredients are in a meal, sometimes from the aroma alone

7)      I can cook all things but particular native soups, and because of that, my mother claims I 'can't cook'...keep it movin'! You weren't saying that when you were munching on my baked spicy yams or my jerk chicken...hmmm

8)      My laugh is SO loud, and mostly ill-timed. My mother once called me a “laughing jackass" (whatever THAT means), and I'm known as the 'feel good girl' at work cos I can make anyone feel funny and entertaining cos I just laugh uncontrollably at the silliest things. But don't get it twisted, I don't laugh at ANYTHING. I can't stand slap-stick comedy and begs.

9)      1^st Impressions, people either think I'm a b*tch or shy. I tend to take a minute (in the metaphorical sense) to take in my surroundings and get a sense of people's personalities before I can feel free in my skin. 

10)   I fear the dark, toes, the smell of bananas, raisins, and cum. What? Perhaps I should put a Parental Advisory sticker atop the page...

I tag Lolli, Nicola, Lola+Fikki and Tomi. Can't wait to see what I don't know about you hunnies...so check out their blogs & watch out for their post.

Onyxsta says...BLEURGH!! 10 Things to Love & Hate About Me. Xisses

Hunter: Saviour of Snow

Disclaimer: Apologies for throwing you off in this post with the hair I'm rocking, but this is me in present-day, 2 styles ahead...but as promised, I'll catch-up. But just thought to add current pics of me in snow, otherwise I'd be adding this when Spring was in full-bloom knowing me.

OMG! So, if you follow me on Twitter, you'll probably be one-up on the tale of my perilous journey lastnight....Buckle up kids, cos this is a about to be a bumpy ride. So my bestie **Tee invited me out to Imperial's annual cultural show (Afrogala), something out of our comfort zone of clubbing, bars & dinners. At first, I was averse to the idea, then an old pal was in town from Gambia, and we decided to go out and that seemed like the right spot. As they always do, plans fell through, but as Tee had already purchased tickets, we decided to go regardless.

 Me - Shirt : Blanco (Gran Canaria) | Jumper : H&M | High-waist Jodphurs : Thrifted (Wales) Necklace : New Look | Studs : **Gift (Nigeria) | Wellington Boots : Hunter (Office)

Brother - Jumper : **Gift| Scarf : H&M | Jeans : Levi's | Boots : Timbaland

That fateful morning, I woke up with a knot in my throat, and a raving mother at my door pointing dramatically at the clock and informing me of the time. Weirdly enough, I'd slept at a decent hour, but had somehow managed to stand my alarm clock up at wake-up time, and had opted for a lie-in instead. Without plans for the day, and after TfL'ing (for those overseas, that means Transport for London) their journey to a mourning family, I was set on a day of cosying in bed, curled up by Blanche watching my new TV obsession, Revenge (post on that COMING SOON!).

 (Mucking about with my brother in the snow. Mother was the Director of this madness....funny lady)

At about 6 (the time the food was being served before the show, but you black people and timing so...), I'd managed to drag my ailing body out of bed and was getting ready only to get in an odd argument with Tee. Weird, cos as much as we are both budding lawyers-in-the-making, we hardly EVER get into arguments. Ok, thats a lie, but still...this one came out of nowhere. Like, words were uttered, but not with the intention of ever causing a rift. After hanging up, I was like "How am I gonna go to a show with this chic and just be fakey-smiley smiley the whole time?" So I called back and we mended our differences.
I set out, and got that scary phonecall from a mother that doesn't know of your evening's plans. Oh...you don't get those? Well, in my family we live by the principle of what you don't know wont hurt you, so we save all informing until the very last minute. That way, the damage is already done, and you can avoid any cockblocking on a grand scale. So my mother lastnight was no different. She was all "where do you think you're going?", "its snowing", "everyone is making their way in, you're making your way out" and all the 'usual' jazz I thought. So i silenced her worries and assured her all will be well, all the while looking outside the window at my TfL mode of transport, and rolling my eyes at how dramatic she was being...little did I know.

We roll into London and BOOM! People walking in have hair covered in snow, and the roads are ankle-deep in the stuff...I'm like "What The Actual F*ck???" (A GC term) We attend the show, and all is well with the world (post on that coming....MUCH later LOL...still playing catch-up, spare me). We step outside the hall and BAM! WHAT THE ACTUAL F*CK?!? The land is littered with snow! Cars are skidding, roads are chucker-block...i'm like, OH SNAP! The bus we're meant to take isn't anywhere in sight, so we decide to take one to a nearby train station and take the Underground to Victoria....if only it were that easy. The lines are all suspended, so after a 30mins wait, a clear contradiction to the darned board listing the waiting time as '9mins', I hop on the jam-packed train where I'm squashed to the point of suffocation and have to howl "I can't breathe, I need air" to get enough attention to allow room for my head to pop up, and then transfer to Victoria from the next station. At Victoria, I run to my platform to a delayed train, little did I know I'd be walking into a marketplace. The platform was filled with over 250 angry passengers, who were left standing on the platform to a train that refused to open its doors cos there was no driver. Train comes in 45mins later and they all run to the next platform like a sea of ants for a cube of sugar.

Running back and forth from platform to platform like a headless chicken, I decide not to be a member of the flock of sheep and approach a conductor to ask "WHAT THE ACTUAL F*CK?" to which he explains that MY train is about to leave from a platform on the other side of the station, but he'll try his best to hold it for me....WTAF?!?! So here I am, in peeptoe wedges, running across the train station for a train thats gonna leave in 2mins, and will take double the time to get there, as it stops in about a million stops beforehand...BLEURGH!! I hop on the train, unprepared for the ride of my life...train's sparking and screeching...dear Lord, never been so scared! Call my regular cab company 3 stops away from home, only to be told that they REFUSE to drive up to my wretched area cos its all uphill and whatnot...damned country Forest village! I resolve to take a black cab, to my brother's protest and he BBM's me other cab numbers to try, which I do, and book one that claims to get me home but at double the price - I agree, at the back of my mind always thinking I'd just walk out and take a black cab from the station. Oh no...not that night. the queue stretched all the way from the station door to the carpark! I join the queue and wait for my cab at the same time, which thankfully turns up 15mins after (10mins earlier than its estimated 25mins waiting time...good sign). I hop on and we set off, he strikes off 1st route, and on our 2nd route we get stuck up a hill to the point I think I'm gonna be sleeping in a stranger's car. He reverses, and we try route 3...we get stuck up that hill too but he's determined to get me home (after several threats that I'd have to be abandoned by the way-side or walk home from the middle of nowhere) and he gets me to the mainroad leading to my area, before I have to get out and walk out in 6-inch deep snow in peeptoe wedges...oh yeah! In total, it takes me 4 stank hours to get home, in what would normally have taken just over an hour *sigh* NEVER AGAIN!

Onyxsta says...BLEURGH!! Always follow your instincts or you might find yourself stuck with a stranger for the night in The Sticks. Xisses

BLEURGHair: The Invisible Side Part

Hola Bleurgher Boos! I'm SERIOUSLY lagging behind but this was the hairstyle I was rocking three hair-do's ago...but I'm working on a catch-up. The style was intended for my cousin's wedding, which was held in Nigeria (post on my Nigerian Experience coming soon...).

I'd been rocking a bob of several variations, for a while and wanted a longer style that was feminine and accentuated my facial features. I've always LOVED side fringes, but have always struggled to find a good-enough hairdresser to get it JUST right. So who better than me? I'm growing my health-risked natural hair underneath, and wanted to still keep it in a protective style, and after MONTHS of Lolli from LolliHearts selling me the pros of 'invisible parting', I decided to give it a go.

For those of you who are unfamiliar with this technique, you basically braid your entire hair in the pattern of your parting, with no leave-outs. Then you sew in 4/5ths of your weave leaving about an inch in front, where you will either sew/glue in tracks, horizontally towards your face. If that made no sense to you whatsoever? Then you're probably sailing in the same boat as my hairdresser, and I will tell you exactly what I told her (or showed her, after instructing her to take out the mess she had sewn on my head...yeah! I'm a difficult client, get over it)...WATCH YOUTUBE!

I left her with a HUGE smile on my face, and went home to curl the hair into a wavy finish, and trim a side-sweep-fringe for myself. I LOVED this hair...it was full, dark and wispy. The perfect combination. What do you darls think? And are any of you invisible-part addicts? LOL

Onyxsta says...BLEURGH!! Sweep the fringe with a hair slide, you still can't spot the tracks on an invisible side. Xisses

Scripted Reality

Disclaimer: I've already touched on some qualms I have with reality TV shows like Love & HipHop in the past...[click here] for some background.

Currently reading the 2nd installment of Lauren Conrad's LA Candy series, and I'm finding it quite insightful. As a reality TV veteran (having watched all walks of life - genre - from age-old MTV classics like 'NewlyWeds' and 'The Osbournes', to terrestrial TV's saviours like 'XFactor', 'Made in Chelsea', 'TOWIE' & 'Big Brother', to my current faves; the black-stereotype spotlight pieces like 'Braxton Family Values', 'Love & HipHop' and 'Basketball Wives'), I am aware that its not quite as 'real' as they would have us believe.

Scarf : **Grandma's | Blazer : Thrifted (Wales) | Shirt : Primark (Menswear) | Skirt : Primark | Braided Shopper Bag : ZARA | Suede Brogues : NewLook

Reading the LA Candy series is eye-opening. Yes, I was always aware that, quite like wrestling (sorry if I killed anyone's naive belief that WWE wasn't staged), the TV Networks deliberately set-up scenarios for these 'real' individuals to then 'act normal'. Aside from the extent to which producers would go to orchestrate drama for ratings, what I found disturbing, was the level to which these said individuals were willing to stoop for more airtime. Its sick to think they are willing to play obedient lil' puppets for our entertainment.

Head Candy : Primark | Rings : eBay & DorothyPerkins | Necklace : DorothyPerkins

I mean, I can't quite wrap my head around someone as old as my Aunty slurring about loyalty, throwing drinks across the dinner table at her 'friends' or even GOING to a club, talk less of causing a raucous there. Its unreal (pun intended). Needless to say (although her style of writing is a tad lacklustre, and her diction rather basic – buy a thesaurus Lauren Conrad, or right-click on Synonyms in Microsoft Word) Lauren Conrad had me sucked in and blown away from the get-go...ok, I lie, from about 75 pages in LOL.

(Boxing Day Outing with the siblings)

LA Candy touches on the ins & outs of the life of a reality TV star. I mean, it's a great avenue to showcase [non]talents, but at the same time, it opens the floodgates for shame, immaturity and basic life. The protagonist struggles to understand WHY the public are so interested in a regular girl, and perhaps its because of the level to which we can relate to her, or other reality TV stars. The age of pedestalising celebrities has long passed, with all those 'Fabulous Life' MTV shows seeing better days. Now, I think the public are more concerned with how others live their day-to-day lives, except, the big TV dons won't show us that. Instead, they buy out villas, rent tables at the top bars and and splurge thousands on flashing a faux-flambouyant lifestyle, in a bid to woo us to covet. 

Onyxsta says...BLEURGH!! Just like a script, in reality tv, what goes up shall surely come down. Xisses

Goodbye 2011, Hello 2012

Happy New Year Bleurgher Boos! I've been so caught up with all the merriments of the festivities that I missed wishing you all a Merry Christmas. Even though the day is only a few hours to the end of its tether, I thought it only right that I haul my arse on here and be a good blogger today....so HAPPY NEW YEAR!! xx

Soundtrack of the Minute - No Regrets : Dappy

I'm a list-connosieur, so I drafted up my New Years' resolution list like a good fortnight ago lol. I split up what I wanted to achieve into segments to form a sort of mind-map. I feel that this will be more effective than setting out general goals like "get fit" or "get closer to God". So my subheadings are: Mind, Body, Spirit, Heart & Social. Now, under each of these, I've been specific on what I want to achieve and how I'm going to go about doing it. I know myself, and I'm a procrastinator by nature, so the best way for me to achieve my goals is to set a realistic target and plan how to go about it. I was asked from a reader in my last BLEURGH (Cobalt, Black & Gold) how I achieved the grades that I did, and as much as it was determination & drive, I also have to credit a great social support system, God & my re-evaluation of my revision plan (setting realistic targets daily). 2011 was great, but I pray 2012 will be even greater. There is so much ahead of each of us that is yet to be achieved, but there's no doubt in my mind, it is attainable.

Onyxsta says...BLEURGH!! Let's set realistic goals & map out the route we'll take to attain it & much more in 2012. Xisses

Best Thing I Never Had

Its MAD sad that Queen Bey's album leaked but it's also a blessing cos I am IN LOVE with so many tracks on it. One of which is me & my (ex Co-Blogger) flatmate's favourite, 'Best Thing I Never Had'. I know she's a married woman, but the way she melodically translates the pain and attitude of just about every heart-beaten & bashed single lady in the world is a beaut!

Chit-chatting with a friend, who quite like myself in the past, is contemplating joining a nunnery. Now, I went as far (at the time) of signing up for an all-girls Catholic Sixth Form in my bid to run away from the woes induced by the male-species. But at the end of the day... I am, and will always be strictly dic...I'll leave you to finish the rest *blush*

Main squeeze, wifey, hoe, mistress, freak-a-leek, single & proud....whoever you are as a woman, you can't deny that you relate to the song! It makes me just want to throw my fist up and growl out the lyrics. I may have been out of the game for a while but its shocking what emotions it digs back to the surface and how much I want to call this person or the other and just smirk as I say "I bet it sucks to be you right now". Like, how SICK would that be?

Boobtube : Primark (Lingerie Section) | Maxi (double-banded) Skirt : ZARA

The song depicts the raw emotions of any girl when the honeymoon-rose tinted glasses have been shattered and he (in the words of Beyonce, and my all-time favourite movie; Two Can Play That Game) shows his ass. We don't use slangs like trifling and the like in the UK, but its SO fitting in this case. I guess, I'm at a REALLY good place in my life right now. With a great social network etc....guys and their wahala seem a million miles away from my everyday reality. But this song just brought it all back..."I used to want you so bad, but I'm so through with that". And honestly, to all the ladies stuck in a bad situation right now, i wanna be the Bey-like voice urging you to see that "what goes around, comes back around"; Karma's a bitch with dog-like balls. It may not seem all gravy right now, but you'll come out unscathed (and even if you suffer a few wounds along the way), you'll surely grow from it and look back one day smiling.

Onyxsta says...BLEURGH!! I'm the best thing you never had...bet it sucks to be you right now. Xisses

Sunday Shares - Finito

HOLA!! Freedom never tasted so sweet! Just took my last undergraduate exam on Friday so I've officially wrapped up my degree guys...just gotta wait for the graduation to make this ish official!

Soundtrack of the Minute - Buzzin' : Mann ft 50 Cent

• Was SO stressed calculating my GPA and estimating what i could get on each module....sheesh! Finals were probably the most amount of pressure I've had to deal with in a WHILE! SO thankful I can put that miserable experience behind me though...now on to future plans *eeek*

• Was SO lazy during exam time to be styling my hair, etc... so I experimented so much with my turbans and headscarves....I've come up with SO many new ways to don different types of headcandy & as some of you guys always query me about how to tie it, I think another multi-tie tutorial is in order so....WATCH OUT!

• After my final exam on Friday, I was feeling brave and shaved the side of my hair off. I'd been thinking of doing it for a while but...Anywho, the pic above is the new look! Will be uploading a video to give you guys a 360 view soon. I gotta say, I actually prefer my "Retro Rihanna Shave" BLEURGHair a LOT better than I did the "Toni Cut"...weird right? Got a LOT of compliments about it so I'm happy with the general result :)

• Bid on eBay and bought a black and white plain Panache Basque so looks like thats an item crossed off my "Summer Wishes" List :) It was brand new as the store was closing down. Wore it yesterday to one of my **8Ballz **Hansonex's 21st shindig in London....and got some rave reviews so pics on how to style that coming up soon

• Met my 1st real-life fan lastnight at the shindig and she was so lovely! I apologise for not asking your name to give you a shout-out on here, but hey hun! You can comment below and lemme know who you are if you want *flutters lashes*

• Got asked to partake in SO many fashion-journalist ventures over the exam period that I had to pass up, but thinking of taking up a few new things so watch this space. Also got a LOT of reviews about the styling for the eBLEURGHBay Vleurgh, so thinking of doing styling videos on YouTube. If there's anything for this season you'd like to see me style (in between my rants and BLEURGHS about things that have peev'd me recently) like jumpsuits or denims shorts or whatever, leave a comment and I'll get right on that :)

Onyxsta says...BLEURGH!! Exams & Undergrad...finito

Some Sundays = BLEURGHday

Ok so the idea of a 'Sunday Shares' blew up in smoke cos I was never born to stick to routine... spontaneity is my middle name (not literally ofcourse). Anyway, I've decided to make this post an any Sunday kinda thing...when I can, is the point I'm tryna make. LOL

Soundtrack of the Minute - White Lies : Chipmunk ft Kalenna (Dirty Money)

• Loving all the love I received about the haircut! I have to say, I was super nervous for a WHILE, but now I'm used to it and I really like it now. Gonna take the advice some of you guys gave and will be adding tracks in soon *grins like a goon*

• My Youtube is growing and I have SO many plans in store. Most importantly, gonna be launching the first items for the eBLEURGHBay (BLEURGH Shop on eBay) on Tuesday at 2pm....so make sure you all take your place and place your bids! REALLY excited as I made the final edits of the lookbook yesterday and have rounded up all the items to sell...you guys will obviously be getting the 1st preview and 1st dibs as loyal followers! I really want my babies to be adopted to loving and great homes :)

• Also, seems The Toni Cut has been really popular, and Youtube offered to make it a partner video. Sadly, cos I had an unauthorised soundtrack (yes, I'm bootleg like that LOL), it didn't make the cut. 

• Actually been having a bad week as on deadline day, I credited my printing account with a whole £20 note, which I learnt the hard way, was non-refundable. So now...with less than a month left in Uni, I have to either trade that shiz or I dunno...print just about ANYTHING I can on this earth! *sigh* Also, the day I was running around tryna sort out some Uni-ish...I did a TON of work in the lib (for my Twitter followers, what I constantly refer to as 'Johnnie' aka John Rylands Library). Thinking I saved it all on my USB, I traipsed home early, wasted the night as I was ahead of plan....oh no! The next morning, I discover that not only is it NOT on the USB, but it wasn't saved on Johnnie's system either!!! BLEURGH!

• Brought back 'Soundtrack of the Minute' cos for a while, I'd been MIA on the music front. But its revision season and I need hott beats in my ear! What can I say, I'm a sucker for a good beat (pun UNintended...get your minds out of the gutter! LOL). I am currently BLEURGHsessed with the track above. Thought to make it easier for you guys & instead of linking to youtube, I placed the bar above....so, by all means, rape that bar!!

Onyxsta says...BLEURGH!! To the books by my side, the articles on my screen & not forgetting the tunes in my ear? BLEURGH!! Xisses

Sunday Shares - First in the Making...

**Soundtrack of the Minute - All Back : Chris Brown**

Hola Bleurgher Boos!! Got quite a good reception from my mini Sunday Shares last week so decided to jump in, head 1st, and make this a weekly dose of rants...BLEURGH!!

• This picture was taken (on my iPhone4) from Friday's night out with my girlies and that was literally the last straw in my new found charm. Let me explain...the blonde is shedding like an alopecia patient not receiving treatment so I've been pulling my hair to the side a lot to disguise it until I B.I.Y some tracks next week. But it seems like this new hairstyle is some kind of dike-magnet!! And Friday night I seemed to be attracting a lot more girls than I was guys (even suffered injury as some chic was pushing me up against the wall in some dominatrix-like flex, that my hands grazed against the glitter decor...BLEURGHair)....like WTH??
• Watched the infamous BlackBerry Babes lastnight and I was SO disappointed! After all the hype, I squeezed about one chuckle, and thats saying something...it was POOR script writing and Part 1 was completely useless if you ask me. That could have all been compressed into 10 mins...waste of life! Questionable marketing for BBs and social networking...but hey, whatever sells ey? :s One of my friends came up with the wittiest spin-off, 'Brazilian Hair Babes'! I seriously think that should be made cos with cheap companies and hair fares selling out with counterfeit quality hair all cos of some babes' quest to 'belong', I think that movie will be far more entertaining! Also, as the chic in the movie spent half the film in bendy rollers...it only makes sense to educate some mutherrrrs
• My flatmate's out of Manchie this weekend...time for Onyx to come out and play! Got some sleepovers and lunch dates planned. *pencils in further plans*
• WOO! Can't wait for 'The Only Way Is Essex' tonight!! I freakin' LOVE that show! It's not even a guilty pleasure, I actually LOVE it! Mark is just the sexiest thing to grace English TV since Ed Westwick! Gotta say, I have a thing for arrogant douches who are so into their own sex appeal that their noses smell of their own s**t. Sue me...

Onyxsta says....BLEURGH!! Sometimes some kind of regularity is good at sparking up a bit of spontaneity. Xisses