The Hairless Feminist

"Aren't hairy armpits meant to be trendy for you ladies right now?" the hottie Doctor asked me before dissecting what looked like lymph nodes from under my armpits. Not the most attractive start to a post, but welcome to the ugly face of beauty.

A Little Life

I was sent an electronic copy of 'A Little Life' by Hanya Yanagihara by Pan Macmillan to read and review on BLEURGH, but the review was delayed by the hefty 700+ pager the novel boasts. It was only upon leafing through last week's exclusive digital Stylist Magazine issue, that I found just how big a deal Yanagihara's novel was; listed as a summer must-read! Long-listed for the Man Booker Prize, A Little Life tells the story of Jude whose past experiences as a child, mar his ability to function socially as an adult in his plight to leave that turbulent past behind. I will endeavour to dart past possible spoilers, but let me assure you, A Little Life's 700+ pages is no joke; littered with rape, child abuse, addiction, physical and sexual abuse, suicide, dysfunctional families, status frustration, 30-year landmark, self-harming and grief. Although slow with the dramz, A Little Life quickly builds from an apt almost-reality show docu-view of bachelor life, to recounted trauma and chronicled self-harm, which I will thematically discuss in classic BLEURGH fashion. 

"settling for something that was not quite your first choice of a life seemed weak-willed and ignoble"

Dress : Lavish Alice (ASOS) | Shoes : Office

"the pressure to achieve happiness felt almost oppressive"

Orange Aint The New Black

I don't watch the show 'Orange is the New Black', so this is in no way a review. My rationale is, if I wanted to see girls in uniform getting it on, I'd commit a crime & drop the soap once incarcerated. That may not be the mindset of avid viewers, but that's my prerogative. This post title is a multiple entendre; 'orange' symbolising caucasians who taint their identity in the hope of being embraced by the minority-ethnic society; 'aint' because there is no substitute for being black; 'new' symbolising the contemporary understanding of what it means to be a millennial black person; and 'black' being all encompassing of minority-ethnic groups and culture.

Dress : Topshop | Studs : Betsey Johnson | Heels : Dorothy Perkins

Adventures in Saying Yes

I was sent "Adventures in Saying Yes" - Carl Medearis by Baker Publishing Group to read and review. "Adventures in Saying Yes" is a biographical account of a Christian missionary working in the Middle East who learns that "saying yes to Jesus always leads us on an adventure", and shares graphic tales which he hopes will "encourage people to work through fear". Carl speaks colloquially about his travels in the Muslim region, and the obstacles he & his family faced in order to share the message of Christ in the Middle East. Carl explores three main themes: fear; failure and faith. I have pooled together key quotes from the book, and also the quotes he used in the book, to convey the overriding message in the hope you're as moved & inspired as I was. 

"A hero is an ordinary individual who finds the strength to persevere and endure in spite of overwhelming obstacles" Christopher Reeve

Fedora Hat : Marks&Spencer | Shirt : TK Maxx | High Waisted Chinos : Rohan 

"We are continually faced by great opportunities brilliantly disguised as insoluble problems" Lee Lacocca

The Unveiling

I'm honoured to dedicate this post to my incredibly talented cousin & renowned Nigerian artist, Kenechukwu Emmanuel Nwadiogbu aka KenArt. I started BLEURGH in University as a creative outlet and I'm grateful for the opportunities it has created for me, and welcome a chance to use it as a platform to showcase other professionals with a creative vision. KenArt falls perfectly into that category; a 300-Level University of Lagos (UniLag) Civil and Environmental Engineering student with a penchant for popular culture and fine art. With his previous work aptly titled 'The Beautiful People' commissioned by the likes of famous author Chimamanda Adichie, music producer Don Jazzy, and Nigerian musicians M.I., Tiwa Savage, Davido, 2Face Idibia and Burna Boy. It is my great pleasure to have the opportunity to share his latest creation with you all and theme this post around what he has called 'The Unveiling'.

Dress : Miss Selfridge | Necklace : Wallis

Mad Max

Went to watch Mad Max this weekend and it was everything I envisioned and more. Aside from my fave, Tom Hardy playing lead alongside Charlize Theron, it had all the action, undercover romance & minimal scripting I need in a 'leave-your-brain-at-home' action flick. But you all know me far too well to think even a gun-guzzler of a film like Mad Max could keep me from seeking deeper directorial connotations and subliminal moral messages, surely. So in true BLEURGH review fashion, here are a few themes I picked out & I think are well worth sharing with you all.

Jacket : Klass Collection | Bodysuit : AQAQ | Midi Skirt : River Island 

Losing Heart

Another month, another book. I was sent a digital copy of 'Losing Heart' by the author, Donna Brown, to read and review. This is a gripping novel about Helen, who having waited months for a heart transplant, is given a second chance at life. Her gratitude following the successful surgery sees her reach out to the mother of the donor heart in what starts as a promising friendship, but soon turns into one plagued with lies, secrets and deceit. She soon discovers that "Mother [doesn't always] know best" Chapter 11.

Tartan Shirt : Motel Rocks | Skirt : ZARA | Sandals : TJ Maxx

Spooks: The Greater Good

I was lucky enough to win free tickets to a private pre-screening of Spooks before it hits cinemas this week, courtesy of O2. I was a bit apprehensive, having never watched the series before, but thankfully it was a "walk in blind" plot & what a stellar plot it was. Luckily for you all (as it means no spoilers) what I found most interesting was actually in the title itself; leaders working for the greater good. As a Christian, this theme is not alien to me as I believe Jesus committed the ultimate sacrifice upon the cross. Somehow, it sounds unreal, somewhat idealistic; leadership through servanthood, but people in positions of authority have to make such decisions each and every day! Spooks encouraged me to dissect the thought-process of a good leader, and the characteristics that set such individuals apart from their peers.

 "A leader is one who knows the way, goes the way and shows the way" John C. Maxwell

Duster Trench Coat : Thrifted | Bodysuit : H&M | Trousers : Wallis

"A good leader is not a searcher...but a moulder of consensus" Dr. MLK Jr. 

What struck me were the different characteristics of the leaders showcased; manipulative, selfish, acting without self-doubt...the list was endless, but multidimensional. Good leaders and bad leaders could be told apart by the motive behind their actions (i.e. Selfish vs Selfless), but more interestingly, the best leader steered clear of the spotlight, allowing others to shine in his place.

O2 Greenwich

"A good leader takes a little more than his/her share of the blame, a little less than his/her share of the credit" Arnold H. Glasow  

Deflecting praise/ spotlight need not be self-deprecating, but a means of encouraging others to step up to responsibility (and perhaps even lightening your own workload in the process?). As a Sunday school teacher, what I've found enlightening of late (in my effort to instil a sense of leadership in the younger generation) is those who thirst for the limelight often find themselves knocked down at the earliest hurdle. Taking a step back allows you to better assess the situation, and act in the best interest of all concerned, not just oneself. Thus making you a better leader than the megalomaniac emperor in new clothes.

Bag : Warehouse | Watch : Guess (Bicester Village) | Sneakers : River Island 

"A leader's job is not to do the work of others, it's to help others figure out how to do it themselves" Simin Sinek

What I loved most was the last 10-15mins of the movie; the climax. Aside from the action & general ghen-ghe'ness of the shooting & what have you, the lesson was that we all have leadership innately built within us! It's up to you whether you choose to seize that quality or not...and how you choose to use it also. The good leader taught a man to fish & sent him on his merry way to fend for himself with invaluable skills that won't steer him wrong, and the bad leader ended up jeopardising lives, their's being no exception. Take heed.

"A leader is best when people barely know he exists" Lao Tzu

From The Start

Keeping with the goal of reading atleast one book a month, I was kindly sent 'From the Start' to read and review for you guys. 'From The Start' is written by Melissa Tagg, and is a split-tale of two characters (Kate Walker, the jaded romantic-screenwriter who is fed-up with writing and not living out true love and Colton Greene the retired NFL player who is trying to figure out what his next 11 yards will be post-career). Their lives take several turns winding them through Kate's old home town, and landing them closer together. The chemistry is electric, and you can't help rooting for the success of the characters the whole way through. "Their journey would change them...and just might change the reader" Chapter 20. Kate is more cautious with her heart, actions and speech than the big, bulky Colton with his grand gestures and bold statements. Being the hopeless romantic that I am, I was in lust from the moment his broad shoulders made their fist appearance *swoon*. I REALLY enjoyed reading this novel and was sucked in from the first chapter, and was so sad to turn the last page so I hope you enjoy this review.

Shirt : H&M | Dress : ZARA | Heels : NEXT

RISK-TAKING: Life is about acknowledging what you want and going for it. "Be the girl who takes the risk and goes after what she wants" Chapter 19. I am slowly learning, like Kate, that "If you're going to dream...commit to it. Don't just talk about it" Chapter 4. If its in line with God's purpose for your life, going after it whole-heartedly by perseverance and faith can only work to your favour. If it doesn't work out, you learned some worthwhile lessons along the way that translate to other areas of life. I'm slowly learning to be a lot more bold in my speech and actions, and although its a slow learning curve from turning rash decisions into calculated bold ones, I am learning"to let myself want something enough to fight for it" Chapter 20

Old Trafford & Media City, Trafford

"Sometimes getting something presentable on the outside makes braving the inside easier" Chapter 5

LOVE-LOCKDOWN: "What was a girl supposed to do after her heart dried up?" Chapter 1. After emotional turmoil, we tend to shut our hearts down as a defence mechanism to future heartache. However, this only serves to work against us because we fail to try to truly love. And to love in the greater sense of the word; "putting someone else first" Chapter 10. The alternative will sadly lead to you losing out on awesome relationships because of a stubborn refusal to open up, and be vulnerable. Its unrealistic to live "a life completely free from heartbreak...it'd mean your heart was hard. Steeled. Unmovable" Chapter 18. Successful relationships are built on mutual trust and open communication, which both characters learned the hard way (as most of us tend to). Learning to do that is a slow process, but if both parties are equally invested, its an enjoyable and character-building one nonetheless. 

"Do [you] realise fine is generally code for horrible?" Chapter 4

"There's something God's been teaching me - this idea of letting go"

"The value in stepping back and waiting"

"Discerning when its right to hold on and when its right to loosen up."

"Don't want to waste time holding tight to a season...thats hit its expiration date" Chapter 9

PURPOSE: "Knowing you were created by a God who loves you. Finding your purpose in that and that alone" Chapter 18. Its a message gaining traction of late due to empowering religious visionaries such as DeVon Franklin. I spoke about it in more depth last week, but it is cutting yourself some slack and handing over authorship of your destiny to the Man in charge."It [is] hard to hear God's voice over the demands of her own heart" Chapter 3. Learning to see that the Lord works and deprives only for our good? PROFOUND! "This was what vision looked like. The kind born and nurtured through determination, effort...success" Chapter 3. Destiny and purpose may sound like spiritual hoo-ha, but look back on what you've overcome & try to rebut the recurring thought that it all worked for a greater good. Nope...impossible! Stepping back and doing what makes you happy, as well as enriches the lives of others is the best way to step closer to your destiny. And remember, "don't assume saying yes to one dream automatically means saying no to another" Chapter 14. 

"Peace that came with living own story, knowing every turn of the page and tug of the heart was a new beginning" Chapter 20 - From the Start

Watersmeet

In the spirit of continuing with my effort to read atleast one book a month, I was sent a digital copy of Watersmeet by Rachel Cotterill to read and review. Watersmeet (is the first of a series centred around the Twelve Baronies) is the tale of the protagonist, Ailith, who is informed of her innate magical abilities by a mysterious elder, Malachi. Magic is heresy under Temple Law, with a penalty of death, and thus begins Ailith's wonderful secret adventure to self-discovery through self-assessment and experimentation. I can't lie, I found it very difficult connecting with the plot, and that will be reflected in my somewhat lacklustre review, but I will endeavour to shed light on its themes, etc nonetheless in true BLEURGH fashion.

Sleeveless Duster Coat : LOVE Clothing | Jumper : Forever 21 | Leggings : Mango

Dumming Down - What I found particularly interesting was the fact Ailith lived in a patriarchal society where female literacy was unheard of. A woman's sole focus - akin to Jane Austen's Pride and Prejudice ladies - was to be married off to a suitable suitor, and live a submissive life as a wife. Ailith is the rebel who was taught to read and write by her somewhat-feminist grandmother, but must keep it a secret in order to be socially accepted. When this issue first crops up, its interesting to note that Ailith also conceals her intelligence so as not to appear more intelligent than her male counterparts, which is an idea that is still evident today. While in Nigeria, afriend of mine informed me that her entire department were deterring her from returning to the States to pursue a Masters degree, for fear of capping her marriage eligibility criteria. Nonsense!  The fact that we still live in an age where it's advised to dumb down so as not to intimidate a man is just...dumb! Surely, your likely match will challenge you in all realms; intellectually, physically, emotionally, spiritually...etc.  

Lunch & Cruise along River Thames - City Cruises

Familial Detachment - I found Ailith's relationship with members of her family somewhat interesting. She is drowned in a big somewhat gypsy-like family, and although the book commences with petty sibling squabbles and personality differences, its clear there's an air of love and affection customary of traditional collective cultures. I grew up in a similar household where my siblings and I were pitted against one another by my parents, yet, inspired one another to achieve our very best. Cheerleaders and competitors, if you will. In this age where competition is feared and stigmatised, I believe an upbringing in such environments is imperative to instil the right drive to achieve great goals from an early age. 

Fur Headband : Primark | Fur Shrug : eBay

Love, Lost & Found - I liked the romantic twist in the tale and how it didn't fall into the predictable mould. Sometimes love stares you right in the face, and other times its in the oddest of places, and I found the book perfectly depicted the nature of love. I will leave that topic to speak for itself as I'm still a learner and cannot claim to be an expert. Watch this space.

"It can only [work] when you add your intention to it. Know how to project your intention" Watersmeet

Those Who Said No

I've always steered clear of turning BLEURGH into a platform to promote my political or religious viewpoints. However, I have been vocal about my opinion of human rights atrocities (especially pertaining to women's rights) in the past, and will endeavour to remain somewhat objective in this post. I attended a private screening of 'Those Who Said No' courtesy of JUSTICE yesterday, and stayed for the Q&A, which was hosted at Linklaters LLP. 'Those Who Said No' is an independent film by Nima Sarvestani, which documents the accounts of survivors of the Iranian massacre of the '80s as they testify at the People's Tribunal in The Hague in 2013.

Blazer : H&M | Dress : House of Fraser | Belt : Marks&Spencer

I am an avid viewer of BravoTV's 'Shahs of Sunset' and (prior to this event) had only a vague understanding of the extent of 'The Bloody Decade' in Iran. However, I was soon adequately informed about the oppressive government of 1980's Iran, which cemented its power by persecuting and wrongfully imprisoning Marxist revolutionaries, liberal activists and innocent people who protested for change. Those Who Said No is a powerful documentary, highlighting the bitter reality of the families and victims whose unwavering determination to bring the perpetrators of the Iranian regime and massacres, to justice, resulted in the scale and severity of the atrocities of the former regime being brought to light. The victims of unwarranted detention shared their accounts of inhumane and degrading torture they witnessed in graphic detail, leaving some members of the audience in tears. Heartbreaking images of 'coffins', where individuals were forced to sit in a small cubicle for 14/15 hour a day, blindfolded, with nothing but propaganda media audible. This sensory deprivation was intended to brainwash those incarcerated and create a factory of supporters; silencing their views, individuality and right to freedom. Aside from atonement and punishment, the victims were able to fire up the machinery of justice by 'exposing historical truth', after 25+ years of silence.  

House of Parliament, Westminster (London)

The documentary cleverly juxtaposes the testimonies in the Iran Tribunal with personal narratives and investigative footage of Nima and one survivor's search for justice in the interim, having been plagued by these atrocities for decades. Footage of an Iranian woman trailing the barren land (exposed as a mass gravesite) detailing the emotions of the community of mourning mothers whose sons and loved ones were cruelly murdered and secretly buried at night only to be discovered upon digging the raw soil with their bare hands and catching glimpses of their attire or distinct limbs riled a few audience members and left me raw with retributive rage. Before the credits, the post script notified a dumbfounded audience that the UN are yet to take action having been issued with the findings of The Hague Court of Justice since 2013. Neither have the perpetrators been prosecuted. In fact, those named and shamed in the public inquiry were found to now hold strong positions of authority in political, legal and democratic seats in Iran to date. 

Private Screening and Q&A of 'Those Who Said No'

It is clear that the actions of that anti-democratic regime was oppressive and inhumane, and should be brought to justice. I cannot begin to understand what it must feel like for the victims who suffered in the hands of such barbarians and can not only continue to live their lives, but are brave enough to share their accounts and enlighten millions of the massacre and gave injustice that occured. One cannot turn on the TV of late without being bombarded with anti-'Islamist' propaganda. I am no religious scholar, neither is this the platform to discuss, persecute or promote a religion above another. On the contrary, I (without sounding like an oyibo on social trial who lists the non-caucasian acquaintances on his/her Facebook friend list) surround myself with individuals of all faiths, and find it culturally enriching and thought-provoking to intellectually debate the differences, similarities, limitations, etc of each faith and motivate one another to pursue their calling respectively. Something that has been coined by philosophers as 'interfaith'. 

I had to bite my tongue and nib my pen one too many times when drafting this post, all too aware of the consequences of 'free speech' stifled in the hands of narrow-minded oppressors a la Charlie Hebdo. The Hague and the opportunity to share their stories with the world provided a cathartic form of therapy for the victims and challenged my perception of justice.

One must be aware that the establishments are made up of the arsonists as well as the fire brigade.

DO NOT FORGET TO ENTER THE GIVEAWAY! CLOSES 1st APRIL 2015

Witchcraft Couture

I was kindly sent a digital copy of 'Witchcraft Couture' to read and review, and also a hardcopy for one lucky BLEURGH reader to win (terms of giveaway below). Don't be dissuaded by the title, the novel is littered with religious, spiritual and philosophical nuances; from the mention of Saul's epiphany enroute to Damascus, to 'Lucifer Ltd' repossession bailiffs in Oscar's hallucination. Katarina West does an incredible job of penning the demise of a once-maverick fashion designer, Oscar Federico Pelligrini, and the repercussions of his plight for perfection and his "fear of the blank paper" (Chapter 2). She cleverly details the transition of a troubled artist's rise to fame and fall from grace, all the while mimicking his psyche through the diction, structure and style of writing in a diary format. In typical BLEURGH Review fashion, I pin-pointed 3 noteworthy themes for your attention in the book, and will discuss them below for your reading pleasure. 

Shirt : BHS | Skirt : H&M

Shortcuts - I completely related to Oscar because I am just realigning myself on the right track to achieve my goals. "In...shortcut[s] lies a moral risk, because the only way to obtain sustainable prosperity is through hard work" (Chapter 12).  Sometimes in life, we lack the motivation to carry on because we're so set on the end goal, that we are failing to properly equip ourselves with the tools needed to succeed. "Talent is not a question of fortune...but a state of mind" (Chapter 18).  Witchcraft Couture teaches that in order for one to truly succeed, one must be "ready to strive for perfection" and "work hard to be exceptional" (Chapter 18). So quit trying to find the shortcut in life, and get down to basics; hard work, perseverance and faith. 

Gossip Girl themed #BloggersLoveLFW Event, Hoxton

Modelling - Countless career and management coaches have praised the awesome power of modelling pioneers in your field as the route to success. They fail to account for the fact everyone's journey is unique. When asked what's his secret to success? Oscar mockingly credits "goat's milk" before hailing the awesome power of magic as the root of his success. The true secret to success is there is no secret! Remember that "misfortunes, never come singly" (Chapter 16), so as quick as a fickle feather rises, so also does it descend for its lack of depth to sustain its flight. Quit coveting the life of your idol and realise they too are human, and had to endure their fair share of social ridicule or tumultuous climb up the ladder like you inevitably will.

Ribbon : Chanel | Watch : Guess | Boots : New Look | Headband : Topshop

Self-deprecation - A few Lents past, I sacrificed self-deprecation and felt liberated as I no longer viewed myself through flawed worldly eyes, but saw my potential and intangible beauty instead. Pop culture worships at the feet of pleasure, which enriches oneself at the expense of self-exploitation. Oscar is infamous Psychologist Sigmund Freud's perfect guinea pig, choosing to deal with his problems by employing a range of defence mechanisms (repression, denial, projection, displacement, etc); in his plight for perfection, he flees from the expectation of his peers by seeking validation from his emotionally absent mother or the toxic contents of a bottle too many. Oscar's desires for earthly pleasures desensitised and inevitably deprived him of core values and basic needs. We must be careful not to flood our thoughts with wants, so we don't lack out true needs. Choose to "focus...not on doubting yourself [and] there's no limit to how far you can go" (Chapter 4).

"Something in my talent, something bright and mighty"..."collapsed under its own heaviness, like a dying star" Witchcraft Couture

GIVEAWAY CLOSED! Winner - WildHormoans!

Into The Woods

Went to watch Disney's 'Into The Woods' a few weeks back, and was struck by just how much the plot resonated with me. I think Disney have struck gold with their new take on unhappily ever after and the Princess Charmings that are encroaching on old misogynist classics. The movie is themed around the wish of certain characters, and their plight to fulfil it by journeying 'Into the Woods'.

Coat : Littlewoods | Jumper : Primark | DIY Ripped Jeans | Bag : Christmas Gift (Mum)

Expectation - "Our deepest fear is coming & going and nobody knowing" Word for Today (2/2/15). Thankfully, I surround myself with driven, hardworking individuals. It's great motivation, but the downside of that is the pressure we put on ourselves to achieve our heart's desires. Wishes and expectations are ok, but when they actually impede your ability to appreciate or enjoy the daily pleasures of life? That's a problem. Much like the characters in 'Into the Woods', I and my friends fell victim to pining after one wish, blinding ourselves to the value of the journey there. This results in you missing out on key lessons and beating yourself up when you trip up at minor obstacles. What I've learned is to lap it all up; the good and the bad. It all serves a purpose, leading you to that goal/dream/wish. Don't miss out on the tidbits that could make great chapters in your life story. "Sometimes the things you most wish are not to be touched" Wicked  Witch - Into The Woods.

Everyday Alchemy: Contemporary Scultrure @ Tate Modern Art Gallery, London

Post-Expectation - I recently tweeted lyrics from the chorus of Pussy Cat Dolls' song, When I Grow Up; "Be careful what you wish for 'cause you just might get it". 'Into The Woods' chronicles the tales of Disney characters post-Happily Ever After. I'm not sure if Disney is wholly to blame for a generation of dreamers pining after sole goals, but there's something to be said about the utter shock that struck the audience upon finding out Prince not-so-Charming's flaw, or the sluggard of a father the Baker became. "The prettier the flower, the farther from the path" Little Red Riding Hood - Into the Woods. In a bid not to spill any further tea, I must say, it was refreshing to watch a Disney flick where the resolution wasn't so ironed out, and there was realism to the lives of the characters after their wishes were fulfilled. I have lived this first-hand. You dream, you get, then what? You live! Life is a series of chapters and hurdles that must be overcome to get to the next stage; childhood to adulthood to parenthood, to Lord knows what else.

Sterling Silver Necklace : Turkish Market (Antalya) | Watch : Guess | Boots : Dorothy Perkins

"He who has a why to live for, can bear almost any how" Word for Today (4/2/15). As true as this is, we must learn to equally prepare and live for the 'how' as we do the 'why'. Purpose can be so blinding that we commit all else to chance, which serves no purpose but to stunt our progress, and diminish our achievements. "The harder to get, the better to have" Rapunzel's Prince Charming - Into the Woods. I've spoken time and time again about the value of the journey, but 'Into the Woods' reopened my eyes to the understanding that the value is limitless, and doesn't diminish post-wish. "Opportunity is not a lengthy visitor" Cinderella - Into the Woods. Yes, you've set a goal and achieved it, but what has that taught you and what will you use it to do? Gratify yourself? Shelf it? Return to your former self? Or serve others with it? 

"To get what you want, better see that you keep what you have" Baker's Wife - Into the Woods

Thanks for Sharing

"What's your addiction? Is it money? Is it girls? Is it weed?" Addiction - Kanye West

I won’t lie, I’m not an open book. In fact, I have been likened to an onion in the past; the process of revelation is several layers deep. Just last week, in an endeavour to open up to someone I tweeted “Sharing is overrated. Conclusions drawn. Judgment made. Advice doled. Redundant #BLEURGH”.  However, after watching ‘Thanks for Sharing’ over the weekend, I can surely see its benefits.

Coat : Warehouse Exclusive | Crop Top : New Look | Skirt : DIY Ankara

Thanks for Sharing chronicles the life of 3 men undergoing the 12-step recover process for their sex addiction (nymphomania). Being of African descent, I must apologise for my lack of knowledge or awareness of addictions and their effect. It is somewhat stigmatised in my culture as a product of sin/temptation/ the devil; nothing that cannot be overcome through divine intervention/rituals (dependent on your belief). However, my eyes have become all the more exposed to nymphomania and the griping effects it has on its victims after unpreparedly watching ‘Don Jon’ on the plane ride home from Nigeria last spring. I was stunned at the dependency the addict felt to the cathartic release derived from pornographic or explicit material, and was troubled by the hours wasted on sexual gratification as a result.

Matters of the Heart at The LOST Theatre, London

Much like ‘Thanks for Sharing’, ‘Matters of the Heart’ is a play about 6 characters leading very different lives, but brought together by one issue; love. Both productions may have very different subject matters, but what bonds the two is their depiction of the benefits of sharing. In ‘Thanks for Sharing’, group meetings for recovering addicts is portrayed as an open forum for mutual support for addicts at different stages of recovery to motivate, console and just share their journey with one another. In ‘Matters of the Heart’, sharing is a lot more organic, with girly catch-ups at work and male bonding at the bar, being the forums for divulging intimate details of their love lives to one another. Singles share their plight to find The One with struggling married wives who’ve lost the spark, and it is the unity in their shared woes that love is an ongoing battle that strikes me.

Necklace : Primark | Heels : Red Herring (Debenhams)

We are all fighting our personal battles, and it is always advised to open up to another for advice, care, love, and support, etc. ‘A problem shared is a problem halved’. I’ve never really understood it. In fact, I’ve fought a one-woman-war against it. It might have something to do with me striving to knock down the image that women are weak or emotional creatures? But as I’ve matured, I have found that strength is relatively defined, and the emotional nature of womanhood is not actually a bad thing. In my bid to fight off this image of dependency, I became so bogged down in my issues that my problems were always resolved through a subjective lens. Yes, I reach the end goal eventually, but perhaps it would have been quicker and less painful, had I chosen to share my woes with another who’d grant an objective approach and offer a forum of solace and support for me to lean on instead. I am in no way fixed, and neither were the addicts in the movie who may (or may not have – I am REALLY trying not to give away any spoiler alerts in case you wanted to watch it yourself) have relapsed, but I am learning to see the benefits of opening up and reaping the rewards of emotional intimacy with a trusted party (be it family, friends, or partner).

"Life is a journey you never have to take alone" Thanks for Sharing. BLEURGH!