Apologies if your mind's in the gutter from that title, and I do hate to disappoint the folk who were under the under the wrong impression, but I can assure you, this is just a post on my hair update. Oh yeah! STILL playing catch-up...this is the style I was rocking after the Indian Bundles (which only lasted over 3weeks). Its a full-head weave, with razor-sharp bangs (for those in America) or a full-fringe (for us UK folk).
The full-head fringe look is my fail-safe style. Although, I always feather the fringe, or add some avante garde modification to the style that's never conventional. I bought packs of weave from my Enugu 2011 trip to Naij, and decided to make good use of them before I embraced my real hair for summer. My sister was all for honing her weavology skills, so she volunteered to braid me in again. We used an all back braid pattern, with two horizontal braids at the bottom. When she was done, I grabbed my needle and thread, and anticipated weaving my tracks in (to my sister's protest). She was adamant she wanted to finish what she started, and began to weave in the tracks in a circular sewing pattern. We used the full 2 packs (as I have a HUGE arse head!)
Styling is my domain though. I didn’t want wispy ends. And as the weave was naturally layered (one 14" and one 16" pack), I wasn't keen on graduating the sides of the fringe either. I wanted fully structured bangs. The hair was jet-black so I wanted the look to be striking and fashion-forward. After outlining where I wanted the fringe to sit (just above my lashes), holding a section of the hair with my 'deuces' fingers, I began to trim below my fingers. And this is the result!
I think this is my favourite style to date, but ALL my male friends begged to differ. I think it flatters my face, and I can hide my hideous forehead and grow out my eyebrows for the time being. What more matters? LOL!! What do you guys think?
Onyxsta says...BLEURGH!! She bangs! She bangs!! Xisses
I encountered a new breed of plonker this week, who inspired me to write this post. Its been a LONG while since I've done a Menswear Monday post, but hopefully there will be a few more on the horizon as its Spring now. I digress...back to the muppet. Now, before I begin, some 'concern' has been expressed by a male reader of mine about my feminist/ 'man-hating' opinions? I will NOT point this out again....I LOVE MEN! However, some guys fail to come correct (as I'm about to illustrate) and thus, I have to air your ass so other girls don't fall victim to crap. If you can't stand the heat, get the f*ck out of the kitchen. Simples
A male 'Bestie' of mine pulled me aside and asked me to get chummy with a friend of his who'd just come to town. Now, I'm all for 'friends of friends' connections, as I feel they are the most fruitful, in the long run. However, you have to be wary of who you let take on the role of Cilla Black, as not every matchmaker out there has YOUR best interests at heart. So, needless to say, this 'Bestie' of mine, was not someone I would burden my issues of the heart with, so I gracefully declined. He pestered and pleaded, and in the end, I caved. BAD IDEA!
Slipper Loafers : New Look
Now guys, beware of those you let market you, cos behind your back, they may not always be doing you a favour. From the pleading, I was already put-off that the dude gagged for it THAT bad (no, I don't find that amount of desperation endearing). By the time the conversation started, dude was already in it to win it, talking about life history and what not. There is a line to NOT prod past on the first conversation; safe conversations lie around family history, current dating situation and career prospects. Trying to veer further than that is nothing short of ambitious. NO ill-humour, as you haven't fully gauged the girl's personality and how well she will welcome that yet.
Dude failed on ALL counts. Asked if I was willing to meet him (I hardly know you, fall back), if I was married (I'm 22, to which I joked I was "married with kids" and the bafoon tried to seduce me to have an affair cos he was gagging to see me & was 'bored'...WTAF, who cares??) and whereabouts I lived (thus proceeding to calculate the distance & time it would take him to come and visit me)....ALL IN THE 1st HOUR OF TALKING TO HIM??? And just when I thought it couldn't get much worse, he then asks, in not so delicate words, if I was sexually active? And if so, to date back and recount. Excuse me? And upon discussion with a colleague of mine, it seems this type of behaviour is not alien among men. I cannot reiterate enough how much of a deal-breaker that line is. A male friend of mine advised that, most men obviously have it recurring in their minds, and in their bid to 'get some' they think that bringing it up with a female means they're a step closer. Guess again. If you're an Adonis like Trey Songz, then you wouldn't even need to mention anything for a 'Panty Dropper', but mere mortals, take heed. Women are NOT comfortable with disclosing their sexual or personal past within 24/48 hours of meeting you. Instead of thawing them, you've sent them to deep-freeze you out.
Onyxsta says...BLEURGH!! Don't let your balls hang out from the get-go, not every girl is a prospect 'pro' from the word "hello". Xisses
So a friend of mine was recounting her night out over the weekend, and her and I expressed our irritation over frigid nightcrawlers. If you frequent the club-scene, or attend boujie/Naij-Freshie extravaganzas parties, then you will be quite familiar with these beings.
Basque/Corset : Panache (eBay) | Skirt : H&M
It baffles me why a woman/girl (this isnt gender specific, but I'll get on to guys soon enough) would spend the better part of an hour getting all dolled up, only to turn up to an event, sipping champagne in the most inane manner with her head held higher than the masses. Honestly, WTAF?
Girls get all gussied up, defying gravity & pushing up their cups until they threaten to overflow. Then, when they sure they’re exposing enough flesh to entice, but not enough to be mistaken on the street for lady of that hour, she’ll strap on heels high enough to elevate her to new heights. Only then, will she feel ready to step into a club (or night-event of that kind). But that’s where I and these frigid creatures, I speak of, differ. I fail to understand why you’d go through all that effort only to stand there, [NOT] looking pretty? I know (in their minds) they think they look like medieval ladies, fanning off the attention of unwanted suitors while peering flirtily over the brim of those same fans, trying to catch the eyes of those they admire. Except, we don’t live in the 40’s, and the only shade of allure these days, are the ridiculous shades ‘big guys’ wear in a dimly lit club. Baffling to say the least.
Necklace : Forever 21 | Belt : Thrifted (Wales) | Heels (not pictured) : Littlewoods | Ring : Swarovski | Watch : Michael Kors
Oh yeah! You didn’t think I was going to go light on the guys, did you? Surely not. Guys…so you throw on the newly purchased shirt you bought in Primark, and team it with some Levi’s and throw on a designer belt of your choice, be it Gucci, LV or Hermes. And just as you spritz yourself with the most marketed cologne in every department store, you catch your reflection in the mirror, and throw on a pair of dark-lensed designer sunglasses. STOP! YOU ARE GOING TO A CLUB, NOT THE BEACH! I will never understand that! Anywho…you get to the club, and start popping overpriced champagne and bottles of liquor, and when limelight-hungry (ok, that’s not always the case, but I’m trying to paint a picture here) girls start flocking your table, satisfied that all lights are on you, you start acting a fool. Going up to girls you KNOW are out of your league (praying they’ve witnessed your cheap display of ‘new money’), under the mask of your sunglasses. She can’t see the fear in your eyes, neither can she see the sting in them when she out rightly rejects you in front of her friends. Wounded, you proceed to act a bigger fool ‘under the influence’ (even though everyone knows you haven’t drank that much).
Why waste all that money, and all that time, only to turn up at an event where you’re actually not having any fun at all? To be fair, at least most guys have fun. They go to clubs with the intention of pullin’ a bird. Fair enough that 9/10 they are unsuccessful (lol), but there’s a certain thrill in the chase. However, I’ve heard on many occasions, that the supposed camaraderie of bidding for a group of girls’ attention as a unit or using a ‘wing-man’ is lost in translation. As you can see from the display of tomfoolery above, guys can’t be bothered with ‘the chase’ much longer. So all that stush-bird crap standing in the corner pouting like you have a sour fruit stuck in your mouth, will only get you so far. Not that girls go to clubs with the intention of catching a guy’s attention (a BLEURGH on that…coming soon), but atleast HAVE FUN! No one said you had to entertain the sleazy uncles, or increase the average pulls of a regular guy. It’s simple…have fun. Dance, drink, sing-along…anything! Just standing there is SO off-putting. Some even travel from different cities just to stand. Yes, you are making it more comfortable capacity-wise, as less gyrating means more space to move around, but who cares about space? The clubs are always packed and hot anyway.
Onyxsta says…BLEURGH!! Have fun in a club you frigid freak, otherwise sit home and watch mindless TV like Dawson’s Creek. Xisses
Speaking with my cousin about progress and success, there'd have been an elephant in the room if we ignored it's sinful sister; envy. The sad truth is, on the journey to success, there are bound to be a few necks tired of tilting upwards to watch you rise.
"You don't get to 500 million friends without making a few enemies" The Social Network.
Cape Cardigan : Primark | Dress : Primark
"Envy is the art of counting the other fellow's blessings instead of your own" Harold Coffin.
Its natural to compare yourself to another, but the trouble arises when you covet another's property or personality, and wish it were your own. Jealousy is like a sickness, it gnaws at your minds and negatively affects your actions. The envious bone clouds judgement and reverts one to their pre-adolescent selves. You see full-grown adults spreading mindless gossip, or engaging in manipulating tactics, painting the envied in a bad light. A dear friend of mine finds it difficult sharing another's joy or celebrating another's success unless she too is in a good place. Its a fatal flaw, but not one that cannot be overcome.
Belt : New Look | Pumps : H&M | Watch : Michael Kors
Envy bruises both parties; breeding a feeling of inadequacy, and prompts self-loathing on the one hand, while tainting the character of the friend who then falls short of expectations on the other. Those overcome with jealousy find it hard to advise reasonably. All words spewed tend to be biased, and may not always be in your best interest. My cousin testified to being fed-up with trivial spats, and harkened to the wise words of her sister and boyfriend who advised her to trim the weeds around her in order to grow fruitfully.
The fundamental fact is, you've gotta have something special and worthwhile, to breed jealousy among others. Don't let the negative energy of others dim your shine. Instead, use it as fuel to power on to the top. Its easy to succumb to their negativity and live out a self-fulfilling prophecy (fellow sociology students will be nodding here), but I urge you to rise above it. For others to bring you down, you have to always remember they're on the level below you to start with.
Onyxsta says...BLEURGH!! Jealous Ones will always envy, so differentiate who's your friend from your enemy. Xisses
So this is the style I was rocking in January, didn't last long...a total of 3 weeks and 5 days to be exact. So here's the back story. When in Nigeria, I had to buy hair (weave & extensions) for myself and my sister, and when I went to a great dealer (highly recommended), I caught sight of these gorgeous bundles. Now, I was never an advocate for 'virgin hair', but after calculating the amount of money I spend year in, year out, on store bought hair, I started to reason. I haggled the price down to the equivalent of £45 for 4 bundles of Indian Hair....BARGAIN!
After having the Invisible parting, i was hooked and wanted that to be my life! Having practically taught my hairdresser using youtube last time, i figured I couldn't go wrong on my own back, so I recruited the help of my sister, for the braid and set out to install the bundles.
Sadly, my sister's vision of the braid-pattern & how best it would work, clashed with mine, and the styling and weaving was another flop as I couldn't cut the weft (or the bundles would run risk of shedding). So I was left with a side-part that was practically a full-head weave. To make matters worse, in my rush to install the weave after my invisible parting was looking sheg'd, I didn't have time to dye the hair from its natural colour 4 (brown) to black. So here I was with an uber-curly brown mane on my head. I swear I didn't wanna leave my room, I felt like a Lioness! LOL Lolli & Tee can testify. So, no...to me, the bundles were a FAIL as I felt they totally didn't suit me.
After a fortnight, I washed it (BIG MISTAKE) and was unprepared for the mass-detaming sesh i was to endure! Thank GOD for YouTube! Resulted in using the John Frieda serum to tame the mess, and stuck them in bendy rollers I purchased from PoundLand and VOILA! All was well with the world...well, until I got sick of them and ripped them off in favour of full-head bangs, but I'm getting ahead of myself here. Coming soon ....
Onyxsta says...BLEURGHair!! Bundles upon bundles equals a Curly Sue mane. Xisses
I tweeted about my current dilemma that life is emulating fiction, and the two are oddly becoming one. I'm currently reading a diary-log short novel (mindless drivel to unwind on TfL after gruelling a 9-5) aptly titled 'The Last Year of being Single' by Sarah Tucker & its strange that after each daily read, I encounter what I've just read. The matter under examination in this post has been brewing since my trip back from Nigeria, but now I feel it right to vent as I'm feeling inspired.
POLYGAMY ~ ~ CHEATING ~ ~ INFIDELITY ~ ~ ADULTERY
All cowardice in my eyes; cheap stunts. I was always aware of the error of this action from a young age. Brought up in a strong Christian home, 10 Commandment lessons were drummed in before I learned the alphabet (I joke! Don't call Child Support on Mother-dearest). Not forgetting having watched Demi Moore in 'The Scarlet Letter' before i'd even crossed the pond, so I was probably around 8 or 9 (yet again, don't sue the 'rents as I'm sure that wasn't rated PG...whoops!) by the time I'd fully grasped the concept that deviating from your marital union, was wrong.
Jacket : Boutique (Croydon) | Shirt : Gift from **NeeNee | Skinnies : ZARA
If you're cheating or finding the need to look elsewhere for sexual, physical or emotional gratification, then something's wrong somewhere.
"He can do whatever he likes outside, but as soon as he walks through THAT door *points at respective matrimonial home entrance*, he knows who's the boss"
I've heard this line uttered one too many times, whether it be from young girls, or old married wives. Its pathetic! Who are you fooling? Why are women condoning such trifling behaviour? In Nigeria, I was exposed to married men who were openly pursuing girls fresh out of highschool...it was DISGUSTING! Fair enough the Aristos (young gold-digging girls prowling for sugar-daddies to fund their extravagant lifestyles) were also to blame, but the elderly men should know better. I was traumatised when a married man at the after-wedding party fed, watered and proceeded to 'harvest' a sideline bird he'd picked up for the night. Looking through the dog's camera, I discovered he had a wife and two kids at home...I was distraught, and made no secret that I didn't approve of his shenanigans. But who was I but a British stoosh chic who wasn't gonna put out for the night? He moved on, and up to the hotel room with his conquest. VILE!
Bag : ZARA | Watch : Michael Kors | Rings : Dorothy Perkins / Swarovski
Pumps : H&M
I tweeted about a co-worker's friend who'd just discovered her husband was cheating, and was now seeking legal advice (or protection). Infidelity is something I cannot fathom, especially when lies are involved. But the contrast is equally devastating in my eyes. When women commit to an 'open relationship', knowing fully well that their boo is getting jiggy with some next broad in his down time. How is that okay? I am forced to question whether as a product of my environment, I've become too much influenced by the Western-Feminist ideals that strength doesn't essentially lie in numbers, to BLEURGH an unbiased view. Why is it not universally accepted to be intolerant to infidelity?
I know some women will read this post and laugh at how naive I am...i can assure you, it wont be the first time. What I want to ask, is why it should be thought 'naive' to NOT expect a man to wander off in quest for different soil to sew his seed? It irks me that this 'standard' is now translating to media, and we all know thats how certain acts become socially accepted as the norm. Think back to when Christina Aguilera had the 'Beautiful' video with the two men kissing, and what grief MTV caused by banning it, and think to now where no soap opera or TV drama is complete without a gay/lesbian scene.
Basketball Wives commenced, showcasing the bitter ex-spouses of NBA-adulterers & commitment-phobes, and now we see a season where the baddest b*tch in the game seems comfortable marrying a man with a cheekily liberal notion of 'commitment'. Its been cited as 'unnatural' for a man to be expected to settle down with just one woman for life. Historians can pinpoint kings and illiterate retards can point to village chiefs and traditions, which highlight the pride of a man in acquiring more spouses. Is it merely a modern phenomenon to entrap a man in a monogamous relationship? Expensive childcare and 'social standards', are they all but excuses to cage a man in the unnatural act of being in a sole partnership for life? I think not...i think its as simple and Man meets Woman, Man marries Woman, they live happily ever after. No complications, but a simple equation.
Onyxsta says...BLEURGH!!
"You took something perfect, and painted it red" Daniel Merriweather. Xisses
On sunday, my brother sent a text asking whether I'd seen Kelly Rowland on Page 3. Sorry...come again? Kelly Rowland? The Sun? Page 3? Surely there is a mix-up somewhere. I was stunned to silence. All that kept ringing in my head was the clientelle of readership The Sun drew. Yes, its the most widely read paper in the UK, but it also has a reputation for producing trashy material, with little or no substance. And not to mention, its Page 3 is infamous for showcasing the muck of society, and promulgating the desire for all women in the UK to aspire to don fake boobs and lipo up the fat they can't burn off in the gym.
Knitted Cape : Primark | Maxi Dress : Oasis | Tank top (layered) : H&M
Reading the captions of Rowland's pics enraged me more...the paper was outright mocking her, and the 'role model' persona she'd been prancing around with, as a judge on X-Factor. This was like spitting on the face of her upbringing, her career, and most importantly, her religious background. My brother, as a plastic surgeon (read HIS take on Kelly's pictures) questioned what exactly her pictures represented? That women could only feel sexy, or be socially accepted as aesthetically pleasing once they'd up'd their cup size by going under the knife? COME ON!
Watch : Guess | Studded Pumps : Urban Outfitters
We get that it takes time for a female to feel like a woman in her own skin, but we're tired of looking at all that skin, thank you very much Miss Rowland! I mean, if its not the nipple slips, its the uber-raunchy Rihanna'esque videos, with unacceptable-before-watershed lyrics to boot. I mean, 'lay it on me'? 'I'm down for whatever'? And these aren't even embedded in the bridge somewhere, these are the titles and blasted choruses of the songs. Like, WTAF?!?
Sex appeal is something that most women aspire to exude, or struggle to tame; its the way in which its packaged thats most important. 'Lady in the street but a freak in the sheets' is probably the most recycled words in the black community. Through the years, I've endured several conversations/debates among guys over who they'd smash/bang/bone (depending on the generation in question), and it all boils down to simple bodily arithmetics; Boobs + Small waist + Bum/Hip i.e. the unattainable ratio of 36:24:36. But what strikes me as odd is when they throw a beanpole into the mix, and passionately argue that she trumps the lot, ample assets and all. Thus, I beg the question (that was inspired by a fellow tweeter on my timeline yesterday), are guys actually attracted to the assets, or the confidence of the woman carrying those assets? Many men have assured me that its not so much what the girl has got, as much as working with what shes got...and it upsets me that it took a silicone filler for an attractive woman like Kelly Rowland to deem herself as sexy enough to pose nude on a cheap spread.
Onyxsta says...BLEURGH!! Rowl model my arse! This XXX-Judge is on the bench, and I'm ruling that she's guilty as charged. Xisses
