Checkmate

Got in a heated debate with one of my closest friends today, and it shed light on a few things. The main being, when you both hit the point of no return in an argument, and you've both tossed painful coins at one another...what next? I'm not much of a chess player, but I do love me some Checkers...the point I'm hammering at is, in the strategic game, you hit a point where no more moves can be made, and its game over; the board is restructured and restarted.
Shirt : H&M | Bowler Hat : H&M 
Disco Pants : American Apparel (Purchased from eBay)
Speaking with my sister afterwards, she commented that, at times people forget that they will see you the next day. Thats my qualms with such situations. I'm not a happy go lucky 60's freak who loves singing in the rain (hold back all bowler hat references...LOL), but I do like having a smile on my face. 8/10 times, its either my family or my friends that keep me grinning.  Why ruin that over a trivial debate about one's preferences over the other?
Watch : Michael Kors | Bag : Dune (giveaway win from 'Follow me in 5 inch heels') 
Boots : H&M
I try not to harbour bad blood, or let my pride cloud my judgment. Through the gift of great friendship, I have learned to air my opinions, vocalise my emotions, and rationalise when cause arises. In the end, I am more than willing to throw in the towel, walk away from the ring and salvage a great situation in retrospect, if worthy. However, I am no fool. If a friendship is not worth it and you've made all the right moves on paper, all your pieces are as you intended them...then its time to yell 'check mate' as you would 'BINGO!', grab your fair share and keep it moving to another board.
Follow me on Instagram : Onyxsta
I speak about friendships a lot, as I feel they are an important part of my being. I was brought up under the adage "show me your friends and I'll tell you who you are". If you surround yourself with spineless swine, you're probably thought as one to others, yourself. I don't walk around with clones. Neither do I expect my friends to act, say, or think exactly as I would. What I love about my friendships is the room we give one another to grow, to be yourself, while still truthfully calling each other out when the other has done wrong. A friend is defined as "A person whom one knows and with whom one has a bond of mutual affection, typically exclusive of sexual or family relations"
Blazer : Thrifted (Wales; originally from M&S) | Socks : H&M
I salvaged a friendship this week, which could have gone sour over a trivial disparity of opinions, and I also chose to let a 'friend' go this week as I felt he wasn't doing anything positive for my life. I can be brutal, but I'm brutally honest. It was great while it lasted, but whats a friendship built on lies, deceit and misconceptions?
Onyxsta says...BLEURGH!! Sometimes its worth looking at the board and admitting there are no more moves to be made in the friendship. Checkmate!

50 comments

  1. I adore this outfit. Love the plaid shirt tucked into the leggings and your hat!

    $100 Shopbop GIVEAWAY

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  2. I love your philosophy on friends and I also love this outfit!

    www.deejayspeaks.blogspot.com

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    1. Thankyou. I'm passionate about the people I surround myself with & want it to be a constant reflection of the true me. Hence why I feel passionately about eradicating negativity from my life.

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  3. Such a great look! Love your top & hat!
    I would love for you to visit my blog sometime!!
    :)
    Allison
    afashionfiles.blogspot.com

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    1. Awww bless you hun! Thank H&M loooool
      I'd also like to visit your blog, so will do first thing when I get in...

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  4. you look gorgeous hun
    http://shana-style.blogspot.com

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  5. YOU HAVE AN OUTSTANDING BLOG! UGH I LOVE IT. I am now following. I hope you can check out my site: http://theproverbs.net and FOLLOW. Be sure to check out the side links. I'm so excited to hear from you :)

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    1. Oh I love that, thankyou sweetie! Always welcome new male readers, you offer alternative perspectives. I'm definitely gonna have a look at your blog, I'm excited to check out the side links etc

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  6. i love coming here because you write about intelligent and social issues that affect our everyday lives. loving the look, no one does androgyny like you!

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    1. Awww thankyou hun! I write fresh from my mind, straight from the heart. I'm glad my readers appreciate my style

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  7. lovely outfit, great blouse!!

    xofemke.
    www.myfashion-expression.blogspot.com

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    1. Thanks boo, I'd like to thank H&M for letting me look good loooool

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  8. super cute look and i love your hair like this.

    xx
    Monroe

    Fashion Steele NYC

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    1. Thanks sweetie & I love short hair too. Last post was on my style, if u wanna check that out?

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  9. VERY cute look, love hats on you!

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  10. great outfit and disco pants<3!! Come back soon ;)!

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  11. such a fabulous outfit!

    <3

    ps. you can now win a $50 giftcard from The Dark Horse Jewellery on our blog!

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  12. wow such a nice look! i happen to like it very much! I am following your blog!

    would you like for us to follow each other?

    http://thesedaysfashion.blogspot.com

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    1. Thanks for checking out my blog darl. X

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  13. loving this look, I adore your short hair and the hat together and yes your right, if your not gaining anything positive from a friendship and there's no point of tolerating its existence.
    have a wonderful day
    xo

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    1. Thanks boo! I love hats, and short hair really allows me to experiment with so many styles.
      Yes, I agree. Friendships are worth fighting for, but when it's time to admit defeat, it's time.

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  14. I like the fact that you mix fashion with intellect on your blog. Woman to woman, that's a very sexy combo.

    As far as what I think on your stance, I don't know what to say, just because I don't fully know both sides or what the arguement was about. I'm not the person to salvage friendships unless it was something huge...but especially not over a difference of opinion. In that case I wouldn't have any friends. But I do agree with the theoretical aspect.

    Good post.

    ~C

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    1. I'm struggling to understand what you mean. If you struggle to salvage friendships, then what does it matter whether the issue were trivial or otherwise? Also, I believe you mixed the two scenarios. Perhaps I wasn't clear, and for the confusion, I apologise. Scenario 1 was a difference of opinion, which I salvaged by apologising from the jump even though it wasn't my fault per say. In my eyes, that's the true measure of friendship; putting ones pride aside to express love for another. Scenario 2 is a friendship which had reached the end of its tether and I gave up fighting for it as it was far more detrimental than beneficial. Hope that cleared things up a bit.

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  15. Lovely outfit my dear!

    I've noticed that you thrift quite often in Wales, may I ask you where exactly it is that you go? I'm not too far from Wales so you've inspired me to venture out there ��

    Cece x

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    1. I visit a few towns from Rhyl to Prestatyn, but all in North Wales. I am yet to visit Cardiff or the obvious parts. A favourite of mine is the Littlewoods outlet in Flint. It has affordable prices and its not thrifted. Definitely urge people to venture out. I hate looking like a clone and love finding pieces that MAY or may not be trendy, but I can identify with.

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    2. Thanks for the tips hun! I'll definitely check those places out on one of my random road trips!

      I love your fashion sense and your writing style by the way!!

      One more Q :-s ...Are there any thrift stores or quirky affordable places you would recommend in London too? I lurrrve clothes but spend such a fortune on them (and can't stop because I'm addicted!) and feel like fashionistas like yourself need to educate me!! lol

      Ta!

      Cece xx

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  16. i LOOOOVE your hat! you look lovely :)

    That GOOD GOOD Blog

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    1. Thanks hun! I love that bowler hat too! H&M for £7...but really £2 as I had a £5 voucher looooool
      Gotta love a good bargain

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  17. Wow, you look amazing, and I can't believe that blazer was thrifted :) great buy

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    1. I love thrift stores and bargain finds! Thanks :)

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  18. I'm glad you guys were able to salvage your friendship. Trivial arguments are certainly annoying but we must never let them take us to a place of no return.

    Loving your entire outfit from head to toe.

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    1. Yes. I do feel that at times, there are deeper issues that lie behind trivial arguments and if those cannot be resolved, then perhaps its better left like that.

      Thank you

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  19. LOVE this look, the disco pants suit you well <3

    XO Sahra
    EffortlessCool

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  20. Thank you sweetie! I love those disco pants! I've put myself on a ban as of every weekend since I first popped its tag, Its been my go-to pick from my wardrobe loooool IT GOES WITH EVERYTHING!

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  21. Replies
    1. Haha I just love the AA disco pants! I used to work at American Apparel and they're an extremely hot buy. I have 'em in three different colors myself. They look good on you as well!

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  22. I had to do a double take....the ankle boots were starting to look like a kneew length one. Lovely outfit.

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