Showing posts with label The One. Show all posts

No Labels

This post is long overdue, but I've never felt the urge to scribe my thoughts or advise my readers more than I do now. Its littered around in the media, in the weekend woes of our girlfriends over cocktails, not to mention in every political and celebrity scandal in our tabloids. Its what I've termed 'Label-less Living'. This is the notion sold by one gender to the other that a label is unnecessary for the mere fact that the relationship is fit to stand on its own two feet, just because.
Me at The National Assembly 
(on that note, support the #BringBackOurGirls campaign, to help raise awareness for the 234 girls abducted from their school in Borno while sitting their Physics final papers. It is absurd that allegations of child trafficking, sex slavery and God knows what else, are already running rampant in the media while the President fine dines at countless events and leaders pocket state funds. Play your part in enlightening the masses of the dire state of affairs in Nigeria where the disparity between the rich and the poor is kept further apart by such inane atrocities as this. Help these girls get the voices they lack to cry out for help. #234Girls #BringBackOurGirls)
I was having a heated conversation with a friend not too long ago, and he found it amusing that I would question the status of an aristo (young girl that uses old men for their money, in exchange for sex) relationship after the man became abusive to the young girl in public for denying he was her boyfriend. In this case, it was a young girl fresh in to Uni life and out of her depth and he was a final year student who had scraped the bottom of his densely filled barrel to ensure she was well taken care of. Again, I ask "did he ever ask her to be his girlfriend?"
Some people may deem this old fashioned, but labels rule out a lot of uncertainty. Aside from that, it spares you the wahala (trouble) when sh*t hits the fan. What I ask is that women, and young girls most especially, credit themselves as more than the side salads on a man's meal. We are worthy of tags, labels and rings ladies. Holding out until the hanging out turns to him hanging on, wont get you further than the four-posts of his oak bed. Truth!
My number one tip to curb this wahala is "if you ever feel the need to ask 'what are we?', then there is no need to ask what you are". Simples. The real hassle comes when oxytocins are in the mix, and quite frankly, I think women are giving up the cookie far too quickly in this generation. Cradle that snack until you find a worthy muncher who is even willing to leave the lid on until the designated lunchtime. If the metaphors perplex you, then you're probably too young to be reading this post. If so, just note that if you're dating a man? Let him treasure you & be proud to parade you, warding off prospective homewreckers....because, chances are (in this dog-eat-dog world) if he's not parading you, you may be one of many side-dishes on this man's tapas platter. Wise up Ladies
Onyxsta says...BLEURGH!! Labels exist in all aspects of human existence. Why not have labels in relationships?

Animal Out The Sack

**Soundtrack of the Minute - Moment 4 Life : Nicki Minaj ft Drake**
It's been a whole week since I last blogged and that's cos I've been busy, busy, busy! Whats changed right? LOL
The weekend just gone was my good friend **Toy's Birthday and twas SO much fun to just leave the Uni stress behind and just let my hair down (well, whats left of it as on Friday, I left my already short crop in the hands of my friend **JABbie and let her have her way with scissors...eek!)...

I am currently infatuated with animal print this season. I've never been a big fan as it nostalgically pulls me back in a time warp to the Spice Girls 'girl power' era where, due to my race, I was always forced to be Scary Spice *shivers*
But nothing seemed more fitting for the night of NO INHIBITIONS than a leopard print attire. I wanted to be free and as crazy as I'd never been... so I set out on a mission (just like last year's 'The One'...funny how its always for **Toy's birthday that I mercilessly hunt) to find the perfect dress...
 I was so open minded! Tried on strapless, mesh chests, assymetric...THE WORKS...and still nada! ZILCH! Then pazam...I walked into H&M and instantly fell in love with the leather strapless corset and my eyes met a graphic-leopard print skirt, and the rest was a match made in retail heaven (i have SERIOUS issues LOL)
Clockwise From Top Left : Strapless - BANK | Assymetric : BANK | Longsleeve : BANK 
Assymetric : Miss Selfridge | Ruffle Shoulder : BANK | Strapless (converted from a mesh chest) : H&M
 I really liked my makeup...if I can say that without sounding conceited or too vain *blush*...I did a gold and bronze with charcoal black smokey eye *dribble*...really trying to experiment with my face and learning contouring so stay tuned :)
 Leather Corset : H&M | Graphic Leopard Print Skirt : H&M
Arm Candy : Miss Selfridge / Guess | Peeptoe Boots : Barratts | Patent Snakeskin Clutch : **JABbie's
Jacket : ZARA (not actually leather but viscose)

Onyxsta says...BLEURGH! The cat's out the bag so what's the point keeping the animal caged? Quit being a sheep and own up to being your own shepherd...embrace the leopard. Xisses

The One

Whether its clothes, shoes or a man....The One is difficult as hell to find. For my friend's 21st, myself and YaYa decided to burden ourselves with co-ordinated dressing. Needless to say I paraded around town, not once but TWICE (the 2nd time being on my own and relying on excellent Group BBM technology to send pics & get girly feedback) to find the perfect Mono-Sleeved dress...You guys likey?

But then the search for the perfect dress got me pondering on my own current relationship situation. (I am a GREAT ponderer. And if I don't fill my day eating, sleeping or of recent, working....all I can stop but do is sit and THINK....think, think and rethink the last thought! BLEURGH!) So here I am...sitting....thinking....of finding the right 'fit'. I've never been one to be cliche'd or romantic to a fault. But in the same way the ONE dress doesn't pinch at the sides or sag, become unflattering to the shape or waver at an unbenign length. So also must the ONE guy/ girl not make you feel like crap, not make you question 'love', not make you regret the moments you've shared or make you become slightly psychopathically stalkerish (just finished "All About Steve"...good watch but not a must see lol).

Don't get me wrong. Just as I'm not a cliche'd romantic, neither am I a shameless feminist. I'm not claiming men are like dresses, where we can go into a changing room, try it on for fit and if we don't like it, be rid of it. Neither am i comparing relationships to a store's return or exchange policy where if things don't work out, nevermind, there's another product in store more fitting of your taste or ANY of the bull you may jump to concluding I mean. Instead, what I am saying is that there is ONE.....no, there is someONE out there for us. When one has Chris Brown slapped you in the face with bull, there is another that will re-instill hope of love in you.
I'm not saying love is a bed of roses (unless its Valentine's Day and your booboo surprises you with that....well then, that's a different story *winks*). What I'm saying is, life and love are about choices, and when you've made one, stick to it. If you want The One, don't settle for any less....if you broke up with her 'cos she cheated with one of your boys, DON'T take her back! If you wanted to be single and some guy sweeps you off your feet, don't take it as a 'sign'...remain SINGLE! If you had moral standings and religious beliefs and he/ she leads you to question them or tread on them....cut that person off, you knew where you were coming from PRE-loveblindess! Make a choice and stick to it.

YeYe says....BLEURGH!! Don't settle for No.2 when The One is out there, waiting in line. Xisses