BLEURGHair: The Natural Crop

Almost in real time now, with my mane guys, bear with me. The title will have you believe I'm advocating a new healthkick, or have subscribed to that dutty 'grazebox', but no....you KNOW I'm a foodie! Anyway, I was dead knackered with the palava of weaves and finding a style that'd disguise my hair condition, or work with the damaged bits at the back *sigh* In the words of DBanj, it was on a "looooong ting!"

So I started thinking of what to do. My dermatologist had banned me from using ANY chemical products in my hair, so NO texturizers, NO relaxers, etc....and I'd been warned to steer clear of excessive strain on the edges, so I had to call a stop to weave and braiding sooner or later. I went as far as purchasing a wig, before coming home (yes, I'm pissed as they're non-refundable & now I have no use for it), stripping my hair of its weavalicious captivities and starting work on my mane. With the help of the lovely AndreeMarie, I decided to rock my natural BLEURGHair, but styled conventionally. 1st I clipped off the distressed shegged strands that were hanging on for their dear lives. Then, I deep-conditioned and treated the mutherrrrr to life!

Then, I cremed my hair with shea butter and greased (sparingly) it with Castor Oil, before spritzing it with some leave-in conditioner with built-in heat protectant. My lil 'fro came to life. I've never been one for natural hair, it just doesn't suit me. And before some ethnocentric 'sistahs' start pounding the site about being proud of my roots, I want to point out that my preference has NOTHING to do with my discomfort with my African roots. In fact, it can be likened to a natural brunette craving to "wanna have fun" by bleaching her hair blonde, or those with naturally short hair adding extensions, so....fall back.

I straightened my hair with my Babyliss mini flat-iron and got to styling. I'm pleased with the results, and popped to my brother's (along with him ofcourse, for some moral support and guidance as I can't see the shapeup at the back) barber's the following day to trim the edges and neaten up the look. What do you guys think? I've been short for over a month now & I'm loving it, yet to tire of it so feel free to express your views. I wanna know whether you think short or long hair is more flattering on me. And whether you like the fact that I'm rocking my natural hair, no product....MY WAY.

Onyxsta says...BLEURGH!! Clippers go chop-chop, as I rock my natural mane with a short crop. Xisses 

There's an App for that

It's application season for us budding barristers, as the pupillage portal is near enough coming to its deadline day. But on the day these photos were taken, I was on my way to my BPTC Scholarship interview at my chosen Inn. Sadly, I was unsuccessful, but I try and see every disappointment as a blessing. Yes, I left empty-handed in relation to my primary purpose, however, I gained a wealth of knowledge on the interview process, my competition, and regained my drive for academic and professional success.

 Coat : Littlewoods Direct | Dress : H! by Henry Holland (Debenhams)
First advice I'd give is to suss your audience; I walked in feeling like a needle in a haystack. Everyone there was dressed in black (suits and tailored dresses) with the odd grey tossed among them, but nothing as daring as burnt orange I can assure you that. Although dress-code may be the last of your palava when preparing for an interview, comfort is key when trying to get your head in gear, and one way to ensure that is to dress the part.

 Bag : ZARA | Watch : Michael Kors | Pumps : H&M
Secondly, get as much interview practice and advice as you can. Silly old me, and my last-minute self, procrastinated making a call to my Barrister contacts until the day before my interview. Needless to say, it was too late to fully digest the advice I was given (also have a notepad and pen handy to take notes). I was a nervous wreck on the day of the interview as I over-thought the entire process, and put too much weight on their decision. Best thing to do the night before is get LOTS of rest, drink water, and do NOT try to retain any new information too soon before you kip. Drake's lyrics apply...PRACTICE PRACTICE PRACTICE! It is important to be aware of all possible outcomes to questions, and learn to compose yourself in a manner that reflects well to the panel.

While researching for advice from past applicants, I found a disappointing gap in the market. I want to address what can be expected in this post, so future applicants can be more prepared than I was. This is risky business as I've always tried to separate my blogger persona from my professional life, but as I was asked in my interview about my blog, I don't see why not?
1) Upon arrival, you speak to the receptionist who ticks your name off on the register and then hands you a 'preparation sheet' which lists instructions on what to expect.
2) You (in a group of six) are called out to follow a volunteer to a room away from the crowd at the entrance; in my case, we were escorted to the Inn library upstairs.
3) You choose (from a range of three topics) what legal area you'd like to focus on (I chose 'family law') and you are handed a sheet. The sheet contains a scenario with various legal issues involved, you are given 45 minutes to take notes.
4) You are escorted out of the room and dropped like pins (one-by-one) at the grand doors of your interview rooms, where you nervously wait to be called in.
5) A panel member (my Inn's panel consisted of 4 distinguished members of the legal profession) struggles to open the chamber door and beckons you in, then introduces you to the other panel members. Names and titles are stated, and you are informed of what each member will be asking and looking for from you.
6) a. Case Study. Not like discussed online, you will not be expected to 'moot' your argument/ opinion back to the panel, instead, they will ask direct closed questions to which you are expected to know the answers without flicking through to cross-check (I failed in THAT department due to nerves)
b. Application Form. Second panel member dissects your application form querying various details. DO research and do NOT rush through the form last-minute. DO NOT mention dependents like they are plagues. Yes, as africans we know those leech-like relatives suck us dry for all we are worth, however, the panel are not so sympathetic.
c. Aspirations. Be sure of what area of law you are passionate about and do not tailor-make your answer to please your crowd. Also, be sure to tailor-make all your philanthropic pursuits and other interests around your chosen field if speciality.
Most importantly, BE YOURSELF. Interviews are like a marketing convention and the main product is you. Allow your personality to shine through and be as charismatic as you naturally are, anything forced will inevitably hit a brick wall.

Onyxsta says...BLEURGH!! Its app season, so give great answers & back them up with sound reason. Xisses

Social Network Etiquette: BBM

I want to start a series focusing on social network deviants. The tyrants that plague our walls, infest our timelines and suffocate us with broadcasts. This post will be focusing on BBM Beasts, but not to worry, there is more to come. I was moved to write this post after suffering from, not one, but TWO ASNBO's (spin on the UK's ASBO's but instead standing for Anti-Social Network Behavioural Order)...BLEURGH!

Cardigan : Primark (Menswear) | Dress : ARK Clothing

 Strike one of the day was when a contact I'd met a handful of times in Naij, and had been polite enough to switch pins with, made a grand assumption on my character. I'm not a fan of involuntarily nailing me to the couch for anyone's amateur psychoanalysis session, so I was not impressed. This bafoon claimed that I was a lot less endearing, and didn't seem happy of late. He commented on my recent display picture, and when I pointed out it was last summer, he claimed that made sense. I'm sorry, perhaps I don't seem as warm to you on BBM because your conversation never cross the barrier of polite introductions. Work on engaging a lady's interest beyond fickle compliments on her appearance and perhaps you might thaw me. *strike gong* CONVICTED!

Ring : *Gift | Necklace: eBay | Rings (stacked) : H&M | Belt : Primark

Watch : Guess | Boots : H&M

Next on the agenda: the goat who added me from a broadcast. No? I don't quite believe it either, so let me fill you in with a little back story. I have a policy to accept all contact invitations and then sieve my friends from [random] fools no further past the polite introductions. I'm always nice, put a smiley right after the "hi", before landing with the all-important question: "Sorry, how do I know you?" On a few occassions, its been thirsty goats who've stolen my pin from their friend's BB without his knowledge. On this occassion however, I was blown away. He got my pin from a broadcast that was circulating. Sorry? BY WHO? The goat feels guilty bleating his dude's name but check this, I don't even KNOW the fool! BBM prompts me to add him. Are you for real? WHO DOES THAT???? GUILTY!! *bangs gong multiple times*

I think it best I draft rules on BBM for the fools who aren't socially trained to understand basic networking skills. Feel free to add any you might have in the comments below. Here goes:

1) Do NOT start a conversation with a new (and old) contact if you cannot muster up banter beyond the "hello"s and "hi"s
2) Do NOT confide in a new contact about how much you've grown to 'love' him/her when your contact history has not reached the 2 month (or more) drop-down-bar status
3) Do NOT compare another's manner on BBM (e.g. how frequently they respond etc) to how they act in real life when you'd only been of acquaintance a handful of times or once, before switching pins
4) Do NOT broadcast another's pin...under ANY circumstances
5) Do NOT persist in sending multiple broadcasts those those who've outrightly expressed their loathing of the purple ink. Best believe you WILL get erased (and blocked).
6) Do NOT change your display picture more than a handful of times when you've freshly added a new contact in the bid to impress them with your best shot; you just end up looking MAD vain and conceited.
7) English vocabulary is your friend, spell-check before you hit 'enter'. It really isn't difficult to grasp the fact that a red squiggly line bum-raping misspelt lingo is an indication that a correction needs to be made.
8) DO NOT STEAL PINS! BLEURGH!!

Onyxsta says...BLEURGH!! BBM is an instant means of communication, not another medium of electronic provocation. Xisses

Stop The Traffik!

Currently reading The Long Song by Andrea Levy (great writer who also wrote one of my favourite BBC drama adaptations, Small Island), and I can't help but note what a shocking contrast it is to my last novel, My Last Duchess by Daisy Goodwin. Both remarkable pieces of work, I must note, but juxtaposed I cannot fail to draw comparisons with their authorial tones and viewpoints.
"If our ancestors survived the slave ship, they were strong. If they survived the plantation, they were clever" Andrea Levy quoting a Jamaican acquaintance.

 Boobtube : Ankara creation from Nigeria (remade by me) | Trousers : ZARA

Coming from direct African decent, I was ignorant to the history of slavery, cotton trade and plantation fields ironically, until I myself crossed the pond. I was such a tyrant in class, and acted out of character for one of colour during black history month and history lessons centring on the topic of slavery. In retrospect, it was my way of dealing with something that seemed alien and inhumane. How can one sell another human being? I struggled to understand the logic of self-imposed hierarchy. Who deemed one race superior over the other? These were the questions that played on my mind as I mocked Kunta in Roots, or made foul jokes at the expense of those whose heritage rode on it *bows head in shame*

 Wedges : Primark | Ring : **Gifted

My Last Duchess centres on a caucasian American heiress, but for the purposes of this post, I want to shed light on her mixed race maid. The author dabbled on the topic of inter-racial relationships, rape and slavery, but in such a dainty manner. The maid was given hand-me-downs and would pretend to be her mistress in town, trying to earn the same privileges. What I deduced from this, was an inferiority complex. The maid was willing to bend over backwards and sacrifice her happiness and her love life for an ungrateful mistress who accorded her no real respect. Andrea Levy, not too far into The Long Song, draws attention to the fact that the novel is not like others one may have read. The detail of the maltreatment of negroes is so graphic, and the degrading language flung around dismissively by the white slave masters cannot be mistaken.

"Those preachers have put it in their head that they are as worthy as a white man. Good chance to put those niggers back in their place" (Page 67 The Long Song - HardBack)
The harsh reality of slavery and the journey to cultural identity cannot be brushed over by embellished diction. The sad part is, slavery is far from being extinct. I watched shocking footage on sky sports lastweek, of a hidden camera which captured the illegal sale of African boys to several European countries with the promise of becoming a world class footballer, but under complete 'ownership' of his master. As a budding Human Rights' Barrister, this account enraged me. As today marks the assassination of MLK Jr, I urge you to look past colour and race, and look towards the plight of humanity as a unit. Take a second of your time today to think of MLK's 'dream, and pray for those not fortunate enough to have the freedom that we take so much for granted.

Onyxsta says...BLEURGH!! "We lose ourselves when we compromise the very ideals that we fight to defend" Barack Obama. Xisses