Social Network Etiquette: BBM

I want to start a series focusing on social network deviants. The tyrants that plague our walls, infest our timelines and suffocate us with broadcasts. This post will be focusing on BBM Beasts, but not to worry, there is more to come. I was moved to write this post after suffering from, not one, but TWO ASNBO's (spin on the UK's ASBO's but instead standing for Anti-Social Network Behavioural Order)...BLEURGH!

Cardigan : Primark (Menswear) | Dress : ARK Clothing

 Strike one of the day was when a contact I'd met a handful of times in Naij, and had been polite enough to switch pins with, made a grand assumption on my character. I'm not a fan of involuntarily nailing me to the couch for anyone's amateur psychoanalysis session, so I was not impressed. This bafoon claimed that I was a lot less endearing, and didn't seem happy of late. He commented on my recent display picture, and when I pointed out it was last summer, he claimed that made sense. I'm sorry, perhaps I don't seem as warm to you on BBM because your conversation never cross the barrier of polite introductions. Work on engaging a lady's interest beyond fickle compliments on her appearance and perhaps you might thaw me. *strike gong* CONVICTED!

Ring : *Gift | Necklace: eBay | Rings (stacked) : H&M | Belt : Primark

Watch : Guess | Boots : H&M

Next on the agenda: the goat who added me from a broadcast. No? I don't quite believe it either, so let me fill you in with a little back story. I have a policy to accept all contact invitations and then sieve my friends from [random] fools no further past the polite introductions. I'm always nice, put a smiley right after the "hi", before landing with the all-important question: "Sorry, how do I know you?" On a few occassions, its been thirsty goats who've stolen my pin from their friend's BB without his knowledge. On this occassion however, I was blown away. He got my pin from a broadcast that was circulating. Sorry? BY WHO? The goat feels guilty bleating his dude's name but check this, I don't even KNOW the fool! BBM prompts me to add him. Are you for real? WHO DOES THAT???? GUILTY!! *bangs gong multiple times*

I think it best I draft rules on BBM for the fools who aren't socially trained to understand basic networking skills. Feel free to add any you might have in the comments below. Here goes:

1) Do NOT start a conversation with a new (and old) contact if you cannot muster up banter beyond the "hello"s and "hi"s
2) Do NOT confide in a new contact about how much you've grown to 'love' him/her when your contact history has not reached the 2 month (or more) drop-down-bar status
3) Do NOT compare another's manner on BBM (e.g. how frequently they respond etc) to how they act in real life when you'd only been of acquaintance a handful of times or once, before switching pins
4) Do NOT broadcast another's pin...under ANY circumstances
5) Do NOT persist in sending multiple broadcasts those those who've outrightly expressed their loathing of the purple ink. Best believe you WILL get erased (and blocked).
6) Do NOT change your display picture more than a handful of times when you've freshly added a new contact in the bid to impress them with your best shot; you just end up looking MAD vain and conceited.
7) English vocabulary is your friend, spell-check before you hit 'enter'. It really isn't difficult to grasp the fact that a red squiggly line bum-raping misspelt lingo is an indication that a correction needs to be made.
8) DO NOT STEAL PINS! BLEURGH!!

Onyxsta says...BLEURGH!! BBM is an instant means of communication, not another medium of electronic provocation. Xisses