Generation Y

The term 'Generation Y' is one I am coming to familiarise myself with. It was coined to categorise the new generation of techno-savvy, religiously and culturally aware individuals. 'Generation Y' is so much more than the definition above, but that's the area I wish to delve into. We are consumed in a culture of media, socio-cultural awareness and lastly, vanity. Its odd to those from other generations, to watch us skype one another from different continents, bbm eachother from across the room, not to mention capture pictures and create collages of the most mundane things like the meal we are about to consume. Egging a pal of mine to join instagram and upload her world, for the world to see (I know, mind-boggling stuff lol), I was taken aback by a comment of a mutual friend. She critiqued the pictorial platform as a means of fickle self-indulgence. I beg to differ, but that's a topic for another day.

 Wife-Beater Tank : Dad's | Tank (layered) : H&M 

High-waisted boyfriend Jeans : Thrifted (Croydon)

It wasn't until I attended the birthday bbq of a fellow blogger (and now, friend), Assumpta, that I fully got to grips with just how open my online presence has become. I met an adorable reader there, who was well informed of the reason behind my current BLEURGHair, my legal aspirations, and my present relationship status. What humoured me is the fact that I went to great lengths to create an online alias, 'Onyxsta', which is uniform across all social networks. However, the purpose of this is defeated if at one glance, a reader/ viewer (I used to have a YouTube channel) can place me in one fell swoop. I was ignorant to the wealth of personal content I divulge in every post, but it is only akin to most 'Generation Y' individuals.

 Headscarf : Thrifted (Croydon) | Wedges : Primark | Studs : Matalan

There's something contagious about sharing your thoughts with those willing to follow. Something captivating about watching words of wisdom spread from individuals from different cultures, across different platforms. Yes, there is abuse of social networks on a daily. Yes, there are individuals that cannot grasp the fact that people HATE the purple words of a pointless BBM broadcast, or the irritating spams of yahoo-yahoo 419 crooks. And yes, the media amplify the woes of cyber-bullying because of ignorant tweets/hateful bloggers, but the basic foundation of social networks is to share your interests and thoughts with like-minded individuals. Some choose to use this platform to flaunt their wealth, or showcase their [photoshopped] beauty, but so be it. To categorically rule out all social networking platforms as vain threads of meaningless information, is highly mistaken. I have met some remarkable, truly inspirational characters online, that I may not have been blessed with the opportunity to network with in real life. We are the creators & directors of our virtual personas & plots.

I went into blogging & tweeting with full intentions of always keeping my online profile separate from my personal/professional life. I saw my blog, tweets and videos as a hurdle to professional success. I know my readers will see this as ludicrous, as i try and post positive messages & spread uplifting words in a comical light. Truth is, I am an outspoken individual who sometimes posts controversial topics or tweets non-status quo words that could jeopardise my career. Not to say that this rather blurred line will cease to exist. On the contrary. Creating that divide has helped, as I am untraceable to the untrained eye. In my opinion, YES, share...but be watchful of the damage that shared information can cause. I'm not an open book in real life, but I can share more than Gossip Girl online using metaphors and proverbs. I am aware that it won't take MI5 measures for a persistent employer to place my online alias to my real self...but until that day comes? I will continue to adhere to the characteristics of a Generation Y bi-product, and share my life away...as Onyxsta.

Onyxsta says...BLEURGH!! Freedom to share cos you're a Generation Y spawn, could result in you being the one the professional shoulders shun. Xisses

P.S. From now on, BLEURGH posts will be uploaded every Wednesday at 6:30pm. Stay Tuned

Don't Call it a Comeback

Starting a 'Back to School' series, by popular demand.  This week, I read a tweet that enraged me to the core, and I went on to scribe my thoughts. I found that my words spoke volumes to those going through that stage in their lives. As I too will be joining the flock this September, returning to an educational institute to further my career prospects, I thought it best to deal with these issues bit-by-bit. The first port of call in this series is dealing with bad baggage from the previous term/year, and how to improve, this academic year.

 Shirt : H&M | Trousers : ZARA | Sandals : ZARA

Results Day & the Summer
So you've received your results & you're not too pleased with whats staring back at you on paper. Fair enough. My advice is to give yourself time to wallow in self-pity. Trying to speed up the process by going straight into work-mode is futile. The work produced in the time will be of low quality, and you will lose the will to carry on. Whether its a day, or days...take a time-out. Cry if you need to. After a few days off, snap back to reality. THIS IS KEY! The moment of realisation when those low grades sink in, is when you need to pick up a pen and paper and start drafting an action plan.

 Studs : Matalan | Necklace : TK Maxx | Watch : Guess | Rings : DP/H&M

Action Plan
I grew up under a roof that placed great importance on academic achievements. My father drummed in the need for a SWOT analysis after every academic term.
Strength
Weakness
Opportunity
Threat

Its important to acknowledge where you went wrong. Yes, we live in a society thats infatuated with a blame culture. When something goes wrong, someone can always be held accountable. However, upon receipt of results, you need to denounce membership of that culture and accept that you had a part to play in your feeling of disappointment. When you can reach that stage of acceptance, is the moment you can openly acknowledge your faults and weaknesses. 

My SWOT Analysis
At the end of 2nd year, I accepted that my STRENGTH was retaining a lot of information in a short space of time. This system of studying may have worked for SATs, GCSEs and ALevels, but was proving difficult in University. I recognised that was WEAKNESS was the application of that knowledge. I am a procrastinator-by-nature, and would always revise last-minute. That didn't give me enough time to understand and apply my knowledge in-time to translate it to wisdom on paper. This meant that I was always scraping the bottom of the barrel. I never failed/ had retakes, as I understood the work, but I did not apply it to the question/ support it with external sources. Acknowledging your weakness does not always mean changing your system. I was realistic enough to know that I could not sacrifice my social life (THREAT) through the year to study continuously. Instead, I still left my revision until last minute, but I incorporated study-groups and peer-grading (OPPORTUNITY) into my revision system.

Onyxsta says...BLEURGH!! Carry out a SWOT Analysis, and prepare for low grades to go amiss. Xisses

Disclaimer: This advice is generic. Feel free to contact me & ask for more help/advice at nkeks@hotmail.com.

Act Like a Lady...Think Like A Man

I was initially intending on splitting this post up, focusing on the book to start with, and then the movie. However, upon finishing the book over a fortnight ago, I realised that the characters in the movie are loosely based on the stereotypes in the book, and it'd be redundant to focus on one and leave the other. Having watched the movie 1st, I fell in love with the soundtrack and chemistry, far more than the plot. The storyline was fickle and humourous, but there was nothing below the surface. Yes, I could relate to one character more than the rest (Taraji's...but i hope i don't date an upcoming chef in future, i can't deal). It DID make me think about my flaws and the men I attract, but it wasn't pushing me to make any life-altering decisions.

 Shirt : Thrifted (originally Topshop Menswear) | Trousers : Thrifted (Croydon) | Heels : NEXT
The book presents men as simple textbook steroetypes. Steve Harvey's thesis is that all men live in search of their identity, which is career/money-centred. Once this goal is achieved, they have peace of mind enough to settle down with a girl/woman, and commit to planning a life around that union. What Steve Harvey fails to consider is the basic flaw; men are human, and no man is the same (just as all women are different). His reasoning behind publishing the book, was to enlighten females beyond the advice given by other ignorant female friends, and draw us to an understanding that men are one-track minded. However, what translates throughout the book is excuse- after-excuse for trifling, cheating, ignorant, non-attentive, irresponsible, ego-centric male behaviour.

 For starters, I do not believe men stray from conversations, and can personally attest to that. I once spent over 24 hours on the phone to an ex. That meant sleeping, showering, bickering, watching TV...everything....together on the phone for over a day! Having brothers (with a close enough relationship to quiz and question certain male characteristics that niggle at me), I am fortunate enough to know that men talk. I also have male friends who call/bbm JUST to gossip. Men don't LOVE to talk, but they do talk. They understand that they were given a mouth, and they are intelligent enough to use it from time-to-time.
Secondly, there should be no excuses for slipping. Just in the same way women are expected to keep their body right, and carry themselves like ladies, so also should men not to go for a wander once the situation starts to stale a bit. Also, whats all this excuse given for non-committal tomfoolery? If you are not ready to be IN a relationship, get OUT! Relationships are not by force. Yes, some women are enablers, but who is the root of the problem? I am not granting women excuses, and making the same authorial mistakes Mr Harvey made. However, I do want to point out that in the same way Steve presents men as basic creatures, so also must I call on experience & observation, to note that when a man wants something, he does everything in his power to get it. Women don't wanna 'ring the alarm' & watch another heifer swoop in & reap the fruits of our years of hard labour. But would you rather that or rot away for years in an unfruitful relationship?

Mr Harvey wrote, in my opinion, a basic flicker on his own experiences. I think the book is very much ethnocentric, and does not pertain to all men. No offence, but it's the simplest of minds that'll carry this book as a relationship bible. Having read last month's Cosmo, I'm forced to draw on the words of Zooey Deschanel & question why women of this generation fear being a woman. Why must we think like a man? Truth be told, the book carries much of the same words your (good) girlfriend would slap you with anyway, so I dunno where he's going on this eye-opening revelation front. The best chapter's the 'sports-fish vs...', other than that? *pulls out another novel* NEXT!
Onyxsta says....BLEURGH!! Looking like a baby, acting like a lady, steve's collated game plan, super shady...all a bit crazy. Xisses