BIY: Embellished Collar

This BLEURGH BIY (BLEURGH It Yourself) post was inspired by this post. Its been over a year, and as I'm between cameras, I thought it best to churn this out before this collar trend goes out of fashion so you boos can get your crafty hands on an affordable way to rock it. 

What You Need

• An old shirt
• A pair of scissors (please ask permission of an adult if you are not of age)
• Thread (preferrably in the same colour as the shirt/ collar)
• Card corners

Instructions

1. Cut the collar from the shirt. Use the threaded line as a guide.
2. Place the collar in the desired position.
3. Loop the needle & thread through the collar and shirt, and firmly knot a corner in place.
4. Keep sewing until the corner is firmly in place.

VOILA!

Onyxsta says...BLEURGH!! Pop your collar hunnies. Xisses

Act Like a Lady...Think Like A Man

I was initially intending on splitting this post up, focusing on the book to start with, and then the movie. However, upon finishing the book over a fortnight ago, I realised that the characters in the movie are loosely based on the stereotypes in the book, and it'd be redundant to focus on one and leave the other. Having watched the movie 1st, I fell in love with the soundtrack and chemistry, far more than the plot. The storyline was fickle and humourous, but there was nothing below the surface. Yes, I could relate to one character more than the rest (Taraji's...but i hope i don't date an upcoming chef in future, i can't deal). It DID make me think about my flaws and the men I attract, but it wasn't pushing me to make any life-altering decisions.

 Shirt : Thrifted (originally Topshop Menswear) | Trousers : Thrifted (Croydon) | Heels : NEXT
The book presents men as simple textbook steroetypes. Steve Harvey's thesis is that all men live in search of their identity, which is career/money-centred. Once this goal is achieved, they have peace of mind enough to settle down with a girl/woman, and commit to planning a life around that union. What Steve Harvey fails to consider is the basic flaw; men are human, and no man is the same (just as all women are different). His reasoning behind publishing the book, was to enlighten females beyond the advice given by other ignorant female friends, and draw us to an understanding that men are one-track minded. However, what translates throughout the book is excuse- after-excuse for trifling, cheating, ignorant, non-attentive, irresponsible, ego-centric male behaviour.

 For starters, I do not believe men stray from conversations, and can personally attest to that. I once spent over 24 hours on the phone to an ex. That meant sleeping, showering, bickering, watching TV...everything....together on the phone for over a day! Having brothers (with a close enough relationship to quiz and question certain male characteristics that niggle at me), I am fortunate enough to know that men talk. I also have male friends who call/bbm JUST to gossip. Men don't LOVE to talk, but they do talk. They understand that they were given a mouth, and they are intelligent enough to use it from time-to-time.
Secondly, there should be no excuses for slipping. Just in the same way women are expected to keep their body right, and carry themselves like ladies, so also should men not to go for a wander once the situation starts to stale a bit. Also, whats all this excuse given for non-committal tomfoolery? If you are not ready to be IN a relationship, get OUT! Relationships are not by force. Yes, some women are enablers, but who is the root of the problem? I am not granting women excuses, and making the same authorial mistakes Mr Harvey made. However, I do want to point out that in the same way Steve presents men as basic creatures, so also must I call on experience & observation, to note that when a man wants something, he does everything in his power to get it. Women don't wanna 'ring the alarm' & watch another heifer swoop in & reap the fruits of our years of hard labour. But would you rather that or rot away for years in an unfruitful relationship?

Mr Harvey wrote, in my opinion, a basic flicker on his own experiences. I think the book is very much ethnocentric, and does not pertain to all men. No offence, but it's the simplest of minds that'll carry this book as a relationship bible. Having read last month's Cosmo, I'm forced to draw on the words of Zooey Deschanel & question why women of this generation fear being a woman. Why must we think like a man? Truth be told, the book carries much of the same words your (good) girlfriend would slap you with anyway, so I dunno where he's going on this eye-opening revelation front. The best chapter's the 'sports-fish vs...', other than that? *pulls out another novel* NEXT!
Onyxsta says....BLEURGH!! Looking like a baby, acting like a lady, steve's collated game plan, super shady...all a bit crazy. Xisses

Menswear Mondays: The Cover-up

Gah! I love a guy in a suit. And what I love more is one that throws on a scarf and a wooly coat over it. I just wanna lap 'em all up...its the sexiest thing, like, EVER! Don't you agree? What I can't stand, however, is how the coat (or cover-up, for the benefit of this post) can hide a multitude of sins. Now, its coming to the season where every guy is tryna max out their gym cards and get their body right in time for white tee's to entice chics like buzzing bees. So, as the coats are flung to their respective storage spots, one is left to wonder, what lies beneath?

 Coat : Littlewoods | Shrug : Lipsy (eBay) | Shirt : Blanco (Gran Canaria) | Skirt : H&M

So also is it with a guy's attitude. Everyone knows you put on a facade when you first meet a girl. It may not be intentional, but you wanna put your best foot forward. So out comes the game, the wooing, the charm....but what lies beneath? Some guys can cleverly mask a multitude of sins beneath their charm, from the breadths of a child and a baby momma, to the depths of a criminal conviction. I know some of my readers will gasp at the extremity of these instances, but I can testify to the truth of these scenarios. Trust me, its not beyond the realm of belief.

 Bag : ZARA | Chelsea Boots : Dorothy Perkins 

An episode of 'How I Met Your Mother' explored the possibility of everyone carrying their [metaphorical] baggage around with them, labelled. That way, everyone is aware of the issues you have from the get-go, before falling in too deep. My male readers will shake their heads at this, for sure! There's NO girl in their right mind that would like you from day1, having told her you're 30 years of age, live at home with your mother and father twins? I stand my ground. Just as an obese man parades in a Prada coat, pretending that the bulk is all muscle, so also is the illusion of every man's game.

Literature : My Last Duchess

As a reformed pessimist (although I'm slowly crawling back into the 'all men are dogs' hole), I can see how this may look to some, and as always, i must correct any misconceptions this article may arouse. No, I am not saying that certain qualities should deem a man an outcast, I'm merely proposing the notion of placing all the cards on the table from the start of the game. Yes, a girl may wear butt-pads, wonderbra, fake lashes, weave, and heels, to alter her level of attractiveness. So also do men flash their cash, rock shades, rent cars, throw on Versace coats over Primark outfits, to create the illusion of wealth. Only difference is, the following morning, the guy wakes up to the reality of the chic's standard. A girl wakes up to a plush penthouse apartment thats driving the dude to diamond-mine levels of debt.

Onyxsta says...BLEURGH!! Cover-up your sins with a coat, but the weight of it will surely sink no matter how hard you struggle to keep it afloat. Xisses. 

Menswear Mondays: Let It All Hang Out

I encountered a new breed of plonker this week, who inspired me to write this post. Its been a LONG while since I've done a Menswear Monday post, but hopefully there will be a few more on the horizon as its Spring now. I digress...back to the muppet. Now, before I begin, some 'concern' has been expressed by a male reader of mine about my feminist/ 'man-hating' opinions? I will NOT point this out again....I LOVE MEN! However, some guys fail to come correct (as I'm about to illustrate) and thus, I have to air your ass so other girls don't fall victim to crap. If you can't stand the heat, get the f*ck out of the kitchen. Simples

 Shirt : Thrifted (Wales) | Jumper : Primark | Trousers : Market (Croydon) 

A male 'Bestie' of mine pulled me aside and asked me to get chummy with a friend of his who'd just come to town. Now, I'm all for 'friends of friends' connections, as I feel they are the most fruitful, in the long run. However, you have to be wary of who you let take on the role of Cilla Black, as not every matchmaker out there has YOUR best interests at heart. So, needless to say, this 'Bestie' of mine, was not someone I would burden my issues of the heart with, so I gracefully declined. He pestered and pleaded, and in the end, I caved. BAD IDEA!

 Slipper Loafers : New Look

Now guys, beware of those you let market you, cos behind your back, they may not always be doing you a favour. From the pleading, I was already put-off that the dude gagged for it THAT bad (no, I don't find that amount of desperation endearing). By the time the conversation started, dude was already in it to win it, talking about life history and what not. There is a line to NOT prod past on the first conversation; safe conversations lie around family history, current dating situation and career prospects. Trying to veer further than that is nothing short of ambitious. NO ill-humour, as you haven't fully gauged the girl's personality and how well she will welcome that yet.

Dude failed on ALL counts. Asked if I was willing to meet him (I hardly know you, fall back), if I was married (I'm 22, to which I joked I was "married with kids" and the bafoon tried to seduce me to have an affair cos he was gagging to see me & was 'bored'...WTAF, who cares??) and whereabouts I lived (thus proceeding to calculate the distance & time it would take him to come and visit me)....ALL IN THE 1st HOUR OF TALKING TO HIM??? And just when I thought it couldn't get much worse, he then asks, in not so delicate words, if I was sexually active? And if so, to date back and recount. Excuse me? And upon discussion with a colleague of mine, it seems this type of behaviour is not alien among men. I cannot reiterate enough how much of a deal-breaker that line is. A male friend of mine advised that, most men obviously have it recurring in their minds, and in their bid to 'get some' they think that bringing it up with a female means they're a step closer. Guess again. If you're an Adonis like Trey Songz, then you wouldn't even need to mention anything for a 'Panty Dropper', but mere mortals, take heed. Women are NOT comfortable with disclosing their sexual or personal past within 24/48 hours of meeting you. Instead of thawing them, you've sent them to deep-freeze you out.

Onyxsta says...BLEURGH!! Don't let your balls hang out from the get-go, not every girl is a prospect 'pro' from the word "hello". Xisses

Menswear Mondays: All Done Up

I drum on one too many times, about the appeal of a dapper don, a stylish stud, etc etc ...but dare I say there is an extreme that should remain untouched? While reading an amazing book (recommend it guys! If you follow me on Twitter - which is now open - you'd have heard me barking on about how multifarious it is) Mr Maybe by Jane Green, I stumbled upon a question thats probably plagued the minds of most women at least once in their lifetime. The protagonist was faced with the dilemma of choosing a wealthy man that adored her and was willing to bend over backwards to solely provide for her on the condition she become his [house/trophy] wife, over an unemployed writer on the dole whose sexual antennae was so in-tune with hers that she was willing to sacrifice so much of herself to be with him. Ok, maybe we all haven't been faced with such a dilemma *sniggers* but it seems there has been a time in every woman's life where she battles with her conscience at not allowing her head to simmer down, and her heart to fall head over heels in love with a guy that clearly adores her...?

 Shirt : Thrifted (Wales) | Cropped Chinos : ZARA 

Now, don't get me wrong. Its not like I'm lustfully driven by my carnal desires when deciding on which suitor (yes, I'm talking medieval to take it all back to basics) is most compatible, but there HAS to be some sort of chemistry, be it physical, sexual or emotional. 'Good guys never win'? Oh how guys LOVE to throw that line in a chic's face. But its not so much that good guys never win, as the lack of spark fails to be ignited by their dull, persistent plea for a chance, or their irritating pursuit of some of your time. The on-screen classic has to be Made In Chelsea's Spencer...just back off son, its embarassing. I know some of you are clutching your chests and bidding me to stop, arguing at just how adorable he is, but quite frankly, dude is a pest and needs to give it a rest.

 Watch : Guess | Rings (Left) : Dorothy Perkins | Ring (Right) : Matalan 

Dr's Bag : Thrifted (Sutton) | Studded Pumps : Urban Outfitters | Belt : Thrifted

The more Spencer pleads for a chance, or seizes an opportunity to convey his worth, or steals a moment to express his undying admiration for her, a tally bar on her perfect 10 checklist is knocked off. Some women are won over, eventually, by his charm, or succumb to basking in the limelight of his sweeping admiration...but most women consider this a turn-off. Having been at the receiving end of a Caggie-like scenario, I can knowledgeably conclude that his efforts will come to no end. And even if they do, its more a pity-party than anything else.

**Soundtrack of the Minute - Take A Shot : Drake (Take Care)**

I urge men not to think of the dating game as a bar of extremes. Its not so much, Good Vs Bad; in fact, its far safer to play your way some place in the middle. Straight-laced, pompous-faced, trudging along with a briefcase (ok, I got a tad carried away with the rhyming lol) will get you nowhere. Yes, women drum on about a dream man with drive, determination, ambition, etc...but leave your personality and charisma sitting on your commute-train and find yourself stranded at Singleville, bidding 'that girl' to PLEASE give you a chance cos you're a good guy.

Onyxsta says...BLEURGH!! All Done Up without the allure of charisma will only result in a blow at your ego & you in a strop. Xisses

Menswear Mondays : The Scottish Kilt

I took a road trip to Scotland last weekend with my siblings for my brother's marathon run in Inverness. We went SO far up North, we were literally in the clouds you see halo-ing the mountains! This is a bit of a quirky post as not many men will nod at the appeal of donning a kilt, but I LOVED spotting the bag-pipers hooting away, briskly strolling across the fields in different coloured kilts. Its near impossible to visit Scotland & not  get wrapped up in its culture, so for the purposes of this post, the kilt symbolises a man's embrace of his cultural roots.

Turban (actually a pashmina/scarf) : Market (Manchester?) | Shirt : Blanco (Gran Canaria) | Kilt (actually a Skirt) : Thrifted | Brogues : New Look

Having a lot of guy friends from different parts of the world, I've learned that the most fascinating conversations (...debates....arguments....ok, sometimes it turns into a full-on verbal brawl) are held by those whose roots are deeply embedded in their culture. The wealth of knowledge that's bred with such native awareness is entrancing to most women. Speaking to a few older ladies of late, it seems that we are members of a lost generation. As fortunate as some may view migrants from a 3rd world to a western country, the disadvantage of this is the wash that comes with it. Like the natural springs we spotted along the motorway to Scotland, it seems the purest remains at the source.

However, the dumb few have interpreted having a rich cultural background as being equivalent to thumping one's chest and dismissing the woman to the kitchen *hmph*. Men seem to have forgotten chivalry, courting and all that richness that also trails with having a strong cultural background. Yes, a woman may be impressed when a man chimes out his native culinary dish, but taking it that step further and expecting her to jump at the chance at preparing it, JUST to please a man, is somewhat archaic (in my perspective). Having witnessed one too many tales of female heartbreaks at the clumsiness of 'cultured' men, I am forced to question its appeal. Yes, who isn't attracted to a man with a diverse 'interest' list on his social CV, stretching beyond "jamming to grime in my yard" and whatnot? Its highly comical watching chics who still crawl around waste-men, or entertain sleazy pavement movements...but the contrast to that is somewhat daunting.

My culture's equivalent of a kilt is a wrapper, and its touching visiting the village and spotting elders sporting them. Sadly, Igbo men in the UK are far removed from that, and barely don such attires to big events, talk less of on a casual outing. Unlike other cultures, Igbo is thought to be on the list of Top 10 languages to go extinct in the next 10 years....heartbreaking. As heart-wrenching as the thought of a loss of cultural identity is, I'm somewhat pleased that flushed with it goes the Igbo-man's misogynist perspective. What would be great would be a marriage of the two. Quite like the kilt is paired with contemporary shirts on the top-half, I'd love to see more men with a mix of Igbo cultural heritage and an embrace of modern Western life.

Onyxsta says...BLEURGH!! Disregard of cultural heritage is plagued by guilt, so time to embrace your roots with your equivalent of a kilt. Xisses

Menswear Mondays: The Short Suit

This look was inspired by Kourtney Kardashian but the shorts suit itself stands as a metaphor for a man with a short fuse. I've heard this line molested by men one too many times; "I have anger management issues"...no dude! You don't look fly proclaiming that to the world so lets nip that in the bud.

Blazer & Silk Shirt : Thrifted (Wales) | Shorts : Matalan

We live in an evolving society where the archaic stereotypes of men as emotionless robots is being eradicated and replaced by metrosexual substitutes. Men are opening up more on social media networks or stylistically/therapeutically blogging, opening up a gateway of understanding into their psyche for females. Along with the perks of this newly opened avenue of understanding, comes the short fuses.

Tie : **Brother's (Burton) | Belt : Primark | Satchel : Oasis | Brogues : New Look

When boys were younger, it was cute to throw a tantrum now and again. It got even hotter for your street-cred getting in fights or being sent out of class when you got to High School....but as a man? Patience truly IS a virtue. Women are reckless with emotions, throwing hurtful words in the air in a fit of rage. Now, as mentioned in previous Menswear Mondays' posts, we live in a world ridden with gender bias, so pardon me for flipping the script completely for the opposite gender...but men need to learn that at any age past getting those GCSE grades, its wiser for you to hone in that temper and upgrade your demeanour. Girls talk! We all know that....so when this dude (that me & my girlies are familiar with) started his termly menstrual cycle, and was throwing b*tch fits left, right & centre....best believe girls started parting like the red sea upon his arrival. Its just NOT a good look. No girl wants to take the risk of being the RiRi to your Breezy flip-out. 

I was beyond disgusted at the finale of Basketball Wives Season 3 when Eric Williams retaliated by throwing water *splash* at Jennifer's face. Like, really? I feel like, yes, what Jennifer did was immature and a cheap shot....but for him to degrade himself on national television like that? WHACK! He came out looking like a bigger loser because gentlemen aren't supposed to lose their temper like that [publicly]....PERIOD! A gentleman should still carry himself with enough class to manage his temper publicly. Its a shame that some women carry themselves with ladette distaste, but the age of the gentleman (in my opinion) is not dead.

Onyxsta says...BLEURGH!! Lengthen the patience of a man's short fuse & watch him transform to a woman's 'perfect man' muse. Xisses

Menswear Mondays: Scarlet Suited UP!

Blazer : Littlewoods | Silk Shirt : Blanco (Gran Canaria) 

Peglegs : ZARA

The title is a spin on my favourite Sitcom character right about now...Barney from 'How I Met Your Mother'. He's SUCH a ledge (wait for it...en-DARY! lol) and oozes every ounce of the dapper man I'm always raving & ranting about...comedic genius & a eye for tailoring. What Barney embodies, is the new man. The man that sees every occasion as a reason to dress up (can I say 'dress' in reference to guys?)...just like a stylish woman views the sidewalk as a catwalk, so also should a man. The actual look itself was inspired by Kanye West from his previous tour.

I think the scarlet red blazer symbolises liberal conservatism (oxymoron, I know).  Red usually connotes danger and sensuality, and in contrast, suits represent caution and adherence to the status-quo...striking contrast, but I love it!

Casio Watch : eBay | Rings : Matalan & Dorothy Perkins

Suede Brogues : New Look | Bag : **Sister's

I've been receiving numerous girlies moaning lately about the douche-like behaviour of some guys. I just don't understand why some girls get the 'good guys', and the rest have to endure the crap that douches toss at them? Why the need for such a striking contrast. They say a guy can mess around all he likes, but when he meets the chic he wants to settle with, he fixes up. But why wait until then? The scarlet red suit conveys that the thin line between two extremes can be tightroped, no need to be confined to either one box or the next.

We all know this is a patriarchal society ridden with endless double standards. But I'm sick and tired of it. As a new adult (well, I will be 22 this November so that line is ageing a bit *sigh*), I'm done with the games and cufuffle of guys. Why does a guy either have to be good or bad, yet a female is meant to embody both by being a lady in the streets but a freak in the sheets? I'm calling out for a balance between the two for all guys out there. Metrosexually stylish with a masculine edge; football fanatic but with a zest for retail; dangerously dapper don in a suit but a sickeningly sweet suitor. The world has moved past labels of social confinement, and I think, so should guys...

Onyxsta says...BLEURGH!! Life is all about tightroping across extremes and finding the balance between them. Xisses.

Menswear Mondays: The Collarless Shirt

I've been meaning to start this segment for FOREVER! I love a dapper man sporting chinos and a clean shape-up....but the thing I love more than men themselves....? MENSWEAR! I LOVE wearing Menswear, and lucky me, the androgynous trend is all the rage this season. The idea behind this fortnightly segment is me sporting the latest male trends and discussing male issues, or questions posed by my male readers (perhaps shedding some insight into how women think in contrast to the male mentality). So its literally like a feminine spin on menswear, or me embodying a male for a day (don't fear, I'm not going through any identity issues).

 Collarless Shirt : ZARA (Menswear) | Belt : Primark | Paperbag Peglegs : ASOS | Watch : Citizen

Bag : **Sister's | Brogue Heels : **Sister's 

The collarless shirt, quite like a spineless shirt, is metaphorical for a man with no backbone. This post is being drafted at the same time as my hometown, Croydon, goes up in flames as the result of ignorant youths' gratuitous rioting. Their sheeplike behaviour is unacceptable! Social media avenues such as Twitter and BBMs are being blamed for such a shameless uprising... WHY? I blame the youths themselves, for allowing themselves to get carried away by the words of a few, to cause such great chaos in London. They are blinded to the consequences of their actions, whether it be the fact that faces caught on CCTV and civilians' phone cameras facing prosecution, or the rise in council tax to fix the mess they are causing. Council tax that THEY will have to pay when they start working....dumbness! And this is all a result of a dumb (condolences to the families of the man murdered) police shooting in Tottenham?!? I mean....CROYDON?? How does that even connect? I blame that dumb initiative to link West Croydon (the ghetto and disgrace of Croydon) to Central/ North London....*kmt*

Women love a man that can speak his mind, and stand his ground. Not a fool that on being beckoned by his Uni-drop out commander, flees to cause mindless destruction. These idiots aren't thinking of the families who own these stores as a means of supporting their kids through school, or the working class slave whose livelihood depends on a night shift commute in the car that was just burned to ashes. Its ridiculous, selfish, and too ignorant to get much more of my air time. *sigh*

Onyxsta says...BLEURGH!! Croydon's Burning, what a shame! Xisses