THOT

THOT : That Hoe Over There

2015 has been feminism's biggest year yet! At the centre of the conversation was what in fact constituted feminism, and who could be classed as a feminist. The world at large, gender aside, was rising up to pledge allegiance to the cause. Yet, on the uglier side of the battle, people were choosing to jump on the bandwagon to further their personal cause. Feminism was used as a buzz word attached to brand endorsements, media publications, and any given event, to garner mass support. Slut walks, derogatory memes, and hypersexualised performances were branded free expression under the bracket of equal gender rights; feminism.

Shirt : TK Maxx | Top : H&M | Ankara Trousers : Designers' Marketplace, Abuja (similar here)

There's no judge, so we are all allowed to run rampant with our ideals of feminist freedom, with discussions ranging from equal pay to frivolities such as the freedom to bare our chest in public #FreeTheNipple. However, who is right? It seems each topic can be endlessly (and sometimes mindlessly) debated to a bleeding pulp, with no true resolve, just a bunch of opinions belted out for consideration. One such debate is that concerning sexual liberty. Hoe. Whore. Slut. Sket. Harlot. Ashewo. Most recently, THOT. All terms associated with females who are sexually liberal, and to some, immoral. This branding is NEVER thrown at men who practice that very same conduct, to even greater degree. If so, its mockingly used as banter, rather than derogatorily to demean their character. This sexual liberty debate has led us all to question why there's little or no provision for male contraception on the market. This sexual liberty debate has fuelled the infamous black twitter conversation about acceptable body counts. This sexual liberty debate financed Amber Rose's slut walk. And most recently, this sexual liberty debate caused a feminist to brand Ayesha Curry's tweets about her style preferences as slut shaming.

LIBRARY, Private Members' Club

I understand where some feminists are coming from; women deserve to have equal freedom as men in all aspects of life. However, from a religious standpoint, I don't see the logic in jumping on the bandwagon of sin. Men wear whatever they want, but 9 times out of 10, the higher up the success ladder he goes, the more clothes he dons. He graduates from t-shirt and jeans to 3 piece suits and black tie, with all the trimmings. Why don't feminists badgering on about sexual liberty hone in on that? Why is the equivalent not evident for famous females? Instead, we see them don less on stage. We see more skin than material on the red carpet. I fear for the younger generation of females growing up with these famous figures as their role models. Placing their worth on aesthetics and the number of likes on social media as a result of less apparel each shot. We owe it to ourselves to accord us respect to be considered as a whole, not just an image, and we do ourselves a disservice by indulging this comical stance that 'slut' is a term worth embracing.

June Sarpong - Success Talks

By all means, do you. I'm not here to judge how many men or women you choose to sleep with. Or how you want to dress. My only qualm is branding that choice under the 'feminist' umbrella. Last time I checked, men weren't debating whether unbuttoning their shirt was conservative enough for the boardroom. It's just not worth discussing. Evidently, there is a double standard when it comes to the sexual liberty of men and women, but that's because we are inherently different. I think what's missing at the centre of this debate is the acknowledgment of that; men are graphic and women are emotional (for want of better terms...please spare me as I am no scientist). So the archaic logic was always, women were emotionally invested in their sexual partners, whereas men just did the deed with no strings attached. How that alleviates them from being equally branded THOTs is what befuddles me, but that was the logic behind it.

Ear Cuff : Body Jewellery Shop | Bag : Longchamp | Sandals : TJ Maxx (similar here)

Fast-forward to 2015, and we are still discussing what the acceptable number of sexual partners for an unmarried woman should be. We are still struggling to banish the rape myth that a woman asks for it if she is dressed a certain way. We are still branding and banishing women who choose to live liberally, sexually, and not doing the same for men. The crux of the issue lies in the way we are socialised; what we are taught is acceptable from a young age. That being said, its sad to see the efforts for gender equality squandered on facetious causes. The contradiction of a 'slut walk' in its name alone. 

Don't be defined by society. Instead, choose to redefine society.